


Reading Rainbow

by DarkGreenOtaku (Darkgreenfangirl)



Category: The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - All Fandoms
Genre: A tree talks and later becomes a main character, F/M, Harry Potter Crossover in later chapters, Its just that kind of fanfic, M/M, Multi, This is a crack fanfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-29
Updated: 2013-06-01
Packaged: 2017-11-13 02:46:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 25,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/498582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkgreenfangirl/pseuds/DarkGreenOtaku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The avengers are forced by a powerful force to take  part in various stories. From the story of sleeping beauty,  to the magic world of Harry Potter; Will the avengers be able to play their parts and escape from the stories? Or will evil finally overcome good?  CRACK FIC *ON PERMANENT HIATUS*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. And so the story begins

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! I present the first chapter of Reading Rainbow. I already of eleven chapters of this written up, so expect the other chapters to up soon!  
> Anyway I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing it!
> 
> Words in italics are supposed to be parts from the story that the Narrator(aka the villain) is reading out. This really didn't work out the way I planned, so it gets dropped from later chapters.
> 
> Disclaimer: Sadly I still do not own the avengers, or any of the marvel characters that appear in this fanfiction. Woe is me. Well at least I still own Chekhov and The Narrator! That something right? *sobs endlessly*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! I present to you the first chapter of Reading Rainbow!  
> I already have eleven chapters of this written so I'll be giving you daily updates for awhile. Anyways I hope you enjoy this crack fanfic!

          As an avenger Tony Stark has come face to face with a lot of weirdness. In fact it probably said a lot about him that he didn't even flinch when he turned on the tv to the site of 'the cat in the hat' destroying New York. His only reaction was to raise one eye brow and wonder how Loki had come across the cat in the hat. Loki didn't really hit him as a guy who would read children's books but who was he to judge? So he put on his armor and flew off, with no idea that his day was about to get weirder.

"Iron man! You're here!" Peter cried out, as he swinging around the cat in hat's legs, "About time to. We have our hands full here."

"I can see that.." Tony murmured, as he stared at the site before him. It seems during his flight over that the cat in the hat had been joined by some friends. The Berenstain bears were there as well, roaring and sending cars flying with their feet.

Steve, as well as the other avengers were focusing their actions on the family. Upon hearing Peter's voice calling out to Tony, Steve taped on his ear piece and spoke, "Iron man! Thank god..We are a little tied up taking care of the Berenstain family..could you help Spider-man?"

Tony smiled at the sound of Steve's voice, "Of course Cap. So I'm guessing that this is all Loki's fault or do we have an crazed primary teacher on our hands?"

Steve snorted in humor, jumping out of the way of Brother's hand, "Well Thor says that he can't feel his brother at present So we can cross out Loki." If he was going to say anything about the primary teacher Tony would never know because it was then that Thor let loose a roar. Then a wave of lighting was send at Father bear. The battle continued for awhile, but eventually Spider-man and Tony took the cat in the hat down with Peter's webs(and a good shot of Tony's chest beam). The others had also taken down the bear family. (The hulk had helped a great deal with that as he had no problem attacking sister bear, when the others had froze.)

"Well that was fun, destroyed my childhood yes but fun." Peter piped up, as he looked up at the tied up children's characters. Steve looked around him as if he was waiting for something.

"What's up Cap?" Tony asked, as he laying next to his friend's side.

"Its just..that was a little too easy.." Steve turned to face him, "Iron man can you do a quick swipe of the surrounding area see if anyone strange is near by?"

"On it Cap." Tony took off and flew out over the surrounding area but saw nothing but empty abandon cars.

"It sure was lucky that those creatures decided to attack now..I mean there is basically no one in the main street at this hour!" Clint noted, he to was looking around and kept his bow upright as he waiting for the punch line. Nothing was this easy for the avengers. Their worries were right, of course, as the villain of the day was still there. He was hidden from site and sound. For he was not even human. No he was something else in tiredly, and the avengers were about to learn that he himself was not so easy to take down.

Suddenly there was a white light, and the sky its self was seemly ripping apart. The avengers could only ready themselves, as a voice seemed to come from the heaven's themselves.

"Greetings Avengers. I am the narrator and I welcome you all to take part in my story."

"What the hell?" Clint cried, as he was suddenly being pulled into the air. Natasha acted quickly and grasped at his legs as they flew past her only to lose her own ground.

"HULK quick grab them! Don't let them fly away!" Steve shouted, he need not to, as abound seeing Clint's flight he has rush over to him with a cry.

"You let go of cupid!" The hulk yelled as he jumped in the air; catching the flying Clint and Natasha in his arms.

"Now. Now. No fighting it. All of you will be pulled into the story." With that Clint, Natasha and the hulk went flying into the rip in the sky.

"NO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THEM?" Steve cried out angrily, glaring up at the sky. He got no answer, instead suddenly his legs left the ground.

"CAP!" Tony flew as fast as he could to Steve's side and took the man in his arms. This meant sadly that he wasn't there to stop either Peter or Thor from flying into the rip in the sky.

Tony didn't stop to think about them, he had to save Steve. He turned his back on the rip and tried flying away. The invisible grip of the rip was to strong on and was dragging him back.

"Now no need to worry. Just give up and join the story and enjoy the power of the word." The narrator said, as the pull from the rip suddenly grew tighter and Tony was sent flying.

"Damn it! Jarvis power up my foot blusters!" Tony shouted as he and Steve were brought closer to the rip.

"You had to fight it didn't you? I should have guessed.." The narrator sighed and suddenly Steve was ripped from Tony's arms.

"NO STEVE!" Tony cried out and reached out his hand to grasp at Steve's outreach hand. With a pop Steve was gone though the rip.

"STEVE!" Tony screamed and without thinking twice about it, went flying into the rip without a fight.

* * *

Blight light and then nothing.

Slowly Tony opened his eyes and found himself staring up at the bright blue sky. "Jarvis. Report." Jarvis did not answer him and after a couple seconds he knew why. His suit was gone. He sat up quickly and stared down at himself.

"What the hell? WHY AM I DRESSED LIKE SOME DISNEY CHARACTER? AND WHERE IS MY ARMOUR?"

"If I allowed you to keep your amour mister Iron man you would had a unfair advantage in the story, and we can't have that."

Tony glared to the side, where he believed the voice was coming from, "Who are you and what have you done to my teammates?"

"There is no need to worry my friend, they too are here in my story. If you wish you may look for them but I advise you to stay and play your part."

"My part! What the hell do you mean by that? If this is some kind of game I'm not going to play it." With that statement Tony stood and made to walk off only to be stopped by the narrator's next words.

"I would not do that if I were you. If you do not play your part in my story I will sadly have to punish the one you love."

"What did you just say?"

"I believe what I said was quite straight forward but at last I will explain, If you don't play my game Iron man and I use my story to kill one Captain America. Also before you open your mouth I know you love him. I'm the narrator and this is my story and I know all."

Tony glared, "Then you know that this will all end with you behind bars."

"Most likely yes but that does not mean I can't have fun first right?"

A anger fulled Tony's chest. This thing had treated to kill Steve, had taken his friends and was forcing them all to play his sick game. This was fun to him?

"Alright then. What actually is my part?"

"You will learn soon.."

Suddenly Tony was standing before a castle as a crowned man stood at his window looking down at the people below.

" _Once upon a time there was a king and queen who wanted a child but could not have one. That was till one day when the queen had a daughter. There was a great celebration across the land, for the king and Queen had finally had a child. So the King called his people to the castle to introduce the child.."_

Tony blinked, "What.."

The king smiled down at his people from his castle window, "Greetings my people! After so long me and my wife have had a child. So rejoice my people! We have a princess!" He took a step back taking a child from an unknown person's arms. "I present to you all my daughter! PRINCESS THOR!"

"YOU GOT TO BE SHITTING ME!" Tony shouted, just as the crowd cheered, as the King turned the child to face them. The 'child' had blond hair, blue eyes and was holding a small hammer.

" _And so a party was throw together to celebrate this great event..everyone was happy for the birth of Princess Thor..all but one."_

It was then, as he found himself dress in red cloth and holding a wand, did Tony realized that as a avenger he had not faced all the weirdest things. This was the weirdest.

"I'm a fairy and Thor is a Princess. Yeah that sounds weird to even say out loud."

"Now Mister Iron man. I think you make a great fairy. Have you guessed what this part of my story is?"

If looks could kill the narrator would be dead five times over.

"This my friend is the story of Sleeping Beauty! Now then I leave you to your part.."

" _And so the story begins.."_

               End Chapter One.


	2. In which Thor is a pretty Disney Princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers find themselves facing their greatest threat! Being forced into a musical.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to post the first two chapters up today, and the rest I have written will be posted over this week.  
> This chapter contains Thor in a dress, and I'm sorry for the metal scaring. This chapter also goes the Disney way and has random singing. I regret NOTHING.

 

_A week after the presentation the king decided to throw a party for his beloved daughter. People from all over the work were invited, bringing gifts to bestowal on their princess. In fact this birth was so special that the fairies them selves had been invited to gift the child with their magic.._

As he stood in the castle and made his way towards the baby Thor, Tony could not help but hope that all this was some drunken nightmare. Here he was dressed in red silk and carrying a small wand. About to do magic on a small, oddly very cute, baby Thor.

'Really of all the parts I could have played in this..I get a fairy?'

"I think it matches you quite well actually." The narrator said, sounding vastly amused by Tony's complains. "You really do not have much to complain about..I could have given you young Thor's part."

That was true and Tony set silence thanks to a unseen god. Though knowing Thor, he'll most likely not be so horrified by his part but more so about being controlled by some unseen voice in the heavens. For some reason that Tony could not wonder about Thor hated being controlled.

'I wonder why THAT IS.' Tony thought to himself. He was flung from his musings by the king's large booming voice.

"Welcome all of you to my castle! I thank all of you for coming to celebrate the birth of my beautiful daughter!"

"There is no need to thank us our king. For we too have been awaiting a young prince or princess for some time." Voiced one the fairies. This one looked like the leader, for she was older than the others and stood with a air of authority.

The king smiled at the fairy's word and stepped back to join his Queen's side to watch the giving of gifts. The leader fairy that had spoken went first. Up she went to the golden crib and lead her head down to the baby Thor.

"Princess Thor. I gift you with beauty. That all that will look upon you be overwhelmed."

The crowd that had come to the party cheered as the bright lights of magic fell from the leader's wand. The next fairy went up(this one dressed in blue) and shot a small glare at the leader.

"Princess Thor. I give you the gift of knowledge. Everything there is to know you will know." A cheer went up again. The blue fairy turned with a smirk to the leader fairy. Tony could only stare.

The third fairy(dressed in greens) went up to the crib and stood posed. Thinking over what to give the child. It was this point that Tony noticed the stares he was getting from the crowd.

This was understandable, for Tony was the only male fairy but they seemed to be staring at him in wonder. Tony was mad at himself later at how long it took him to realize why.

'Oh..there wondering what my gift will be..shit. Ummm think of something Tony!'

There was a sudden uproar of cheering as the green fairy gifted the young child with compassion and strength. Now everyone was staring at Tony. Before he could say anything he found his legs walking up to the crib without his consent.

'What the hell?'

"Now Mr. Iron man. Play your play well." The narrator said, before Tony was sent flying by a push from an invisible hand.

'Bastard.' Tony growled, getting shocked looks from the other fairies(like he gave to shits), he was slowly getting the feeling that he knew what gift he was going to give. If he remembered the Disney version of the story well enough..a bad fairy was about to curse baby Thor in about five..four..three..two..on

"Greetings my dear King and Queen. I'm so sorry I'm late but it appears that my invite has been lost in its delivery. I've only just hear of this party but came at once to give my gift." Said the voice of a figure dressed in black.

Grasps echoed around the crowd but Tony did not join them. 'Unless I'm finally losing it..but that voice. I know that voice.'

The King glared at the figure, "Witch. You are not welcome here. You were banned from this kingdom for your actions.."

"Yes yes.." The figure waved a hand up down, "But can we not just let the past go? For a child has been born to you my great king! A future has finally been created! Should we not embrace it and forget the actions of the past?"

Some people in crowd seemed to agree but the king did not look moved, and the fairies looked like pure rage in human form. In fact the leader had hear enough and flew up to the figure with a pointed wand.

"Stop your silver tongue witch! You have no dream of embracing the future of this kingdom! All you've every wanted was its end!"

The figure laughed, hard and cold(And vastly familiar). "Now now my dear Amy. I've come only to give the child a gift there is no need to be so angry." With a flick of its hand its hood fell back and Tony could not stop himself from shouting.

"NO. LOKI? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!"

Loki seemed not to hear him, or if he had ignored him, as he raised his wand(which appeared out of no where) above his head. "I, the great witch Loki, give this gift upon the princess. She will be loved by all and live happily. But on her sixteenth birthday she will prick her finger on a spindle and DIE."

There was a uproar but none could do a thing for Loki had vanished as quickly as he came. The queen fell to her knees in tears. The fairies wept freely, but Tony was already raising his own wand over the baby's head.

'Let's hope I get this right..'

"I, Tony Stark, give this gift to you. Thor you will live a happy life and yes you will prick your finger but not die. No instead you will fall into a deep sleep and the only way to wake up will be from true love's kiss."

"Well that was..something." The narrator commented.

"Shut it."

"Yes, talk to the voice that NO ONE ELSE CAN HEAR, that will make you look sense in ANY universe."

The narrator was right on that one, for the other fairies were looking at him in confusion. The green one spoke up, "Is the shut it part of the spell, because I don't know how that can work Tony."

The Queen ran over to the crib, picking up the child, before turning to Tony. "Thank you! Oh thank you Fairy Tony!"

_Though death had been avoided the king set out a order that all spindles be burned. The sky was dark with smoke that night. So many years pasted and the young princess grew. She grew into a beauty the likes that none had seen. She was kind, gentle and sung like a angel. All loved her. The fairies them selves, fearing the witches rage at being stopped, elected one of their own to protect the princess always. Fairy Tony._

"Wait! Aren't the fairies supposed to raise the princess?" Tony commented, as he the scenes around him changed into a forest.

"That was the Disney version my friend."

Tony swore under his breath, the Disney version was the only one he knew off by heart, "Wait a second I'm quite sure in the original a fairy didn't stick around.."

"Mr. Iron man do I have to remind you who is telling you this story?"

With a popping sound Tony suddenly found himself falling though the sky and then another pop and he was back on the ground.

"Yes, I get it. You're the one in control. Don't have to be a jerk about it!" He yelled up at the sky.

"SHIELD BROTHER!"

Tony blinked and turned to watch Thor come running at him yelling(a common daily occurrence), " SHIELD BROTHER! WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS? WHERE ARE THE OTHER AVENGERS?"

Though the yelling part was a daily occurrence, Thor wearing a puffy pink dress was not.

"HOLY SHIT THOR WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? MY EYES! MY EYES!" Tony cried out in pain, curling into himself trying(and failing) to delete the image of THOR in a dress in his mind.

Thor looked down, "I believe it's a dress. You have not answered my question..where are we? And what is going on?"

Seeing as Tony was still screaming himself in mental pain, the narrator spoke up, "Ah Thor. How quickly you've grown. Welcome to my world. A world in which the avengers must play parts in my stories. You dear sir are playing, at this moment, sleeping beauty."

Thor just raised a eyebrow and one arm(Tony who had finally looked up, went back down at that movement), "You villian! What gives you the right to make us play these parts?"

"The fact that this is my world? I'm the narrator and this is my story. Now get your friend to stop screaming. The story must continue."

Thor glared but gave Tony a good shake with one of his hands.

Tony stood up, "God Thor, after all this is over..NEVER WEAR A DRESS AGAIN."

"Shield brother what should we do. This voice in the heavens says we must play our parts.."

"Yeah..or he hurts the others or sends us falling through air. Lets just get this over with."

"Good morning Princess Thor!" Said a high girly voice.

Both Thor and Tony turned and stared at, what appeared to be, a talking tree.

"Tony. If I'm not mistaken trees do not talk on your world."

"Yeah..but were not on my world right now..this is so weird.."

The tree(who looked like a normal..well tree..), continued speaking, like a tree speaking was a daily thing.

"It's a lovely day today isn't it Princess Thor? Don't you just feel like singing about it?"

"It truly is a beautiful day dear tree! It does feel one with a cheer!" Thor said with a grin, already over the talking tree thing. Tony was not and continued to stare at it like it was the child of Satan.

The tree laughed, "That it does! Come we must sing our sheer!"

Suddenly from the heavens them selves cam music.

"Now then. SING." The narrator roared, as the music turned up louder.

"NO. I refuse! This isn't Disney you said! So why the hell do I have to sin.."

"OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY! IT FILLS ME WITH SUCH CHEERRR!" Thor sang, twirling around in his pink dress.

Tony's mouth fell open, "THOR! NO DON'T GIVE IN!"

"OH THE BIRDS ARE SINGINGGG..."

Tony felt a urge suddenly to join him, "No I wont. You can't make me..I'm Tony bleeping Stark. I DON'T DO SINGING."

The narrator just laughed, as the music grew louder and louder. The tree had even started to sing along.

"No. I refuse..I..I..THE BIRDS ARE FLYING AND THE SKY IS SO BLUE.." Tony blinked and horror grew in his face.

"NOOOOOOOO!"

_So the Princess and her fairy sang away the morning. Unaware that they were being watched by a young prince that had come to hunt in the forest._

* * *

End of Chapter Two.


	3. In which a wild Steve appears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Prince arrives on the scene! Wait...starch that, A group of Princes arrive!  
> There is also more singing. Much to Tony's displeasure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the princes that shown up in this chapter are based on real life people. Let's see if anyone can guess who they are supposed to be.  
> If you get it right, all the internet cookies for you!  
> Also, yes, my head canon is that Steve has a amazing singing voice, like a angel. Like birds come to him when he sings. Maybe I should have made HIM the princess...oh well

 

_When the young prince had left his castle that morning, he had no idea that his life was about to change. For his daily hunt was interrupted by a voice, a beautiful voice of a maiden. Laying down his weapons he made his way to the source and came upon Princess Thor. He had heard of her beauty but was not prepared for the site before him. It was that actual moment, as his eyes fell upon her, that he fell in love. What the young prince did not know was that he was not the only prince that hunted in these parts..._

The music had finally stopped, and Tony had finally been given back the control of his voice.

"Thor, when this is all over, tell no one of this." He murmured under his breath,eyes flickering back and forth like he was waiting for something.

"There is no need to worry my friend, the next song is not for awhile. You can relax." The narrator spoke with amusement, "By the way you have a beautiful singing voice."

"Oh. SHUT. UP."

Unlike Tony, Thor looked quite pleased, as he turned back to the talking tree. He greeted it with a pat on its bark, "Dear tree I thank you for that musical moment. I hadn't had this much fun since the night of harvest!"

The tree smiled(though Tony could only guess that it had smiled. Where those vines moving?), "No problem Princess Thor. I am here to help you and your friends to play the narrator's games. You may call me Chekhov."

Tony snorted, "Great a tree is helping us. We are so saved..and what kind of name is that?"

Thor turned his head to frown at Tony, "I say it is a great name. Fitting for such a grand tree."

Tony could only place his face in his hands, 'Out of all the people I had to get stuck with..it had to be Thor.' Don't get Tony wrong, he liked Thor. It was just if he had been here with anyone else they would be just as freaked out as him, instead of befriending the demon talking tree.

Then from the brushes came a man. He was dressed in fine silks, with a head of long blond hair. He carried with him a bow, which he dropped as he fell upon his knees before Thor.

"Princess! I hear your voice calling for me from deep in the forest. You may be overcome to hear this but upon hearing your voice I fell in love with you!" He took one of Thor's hands and smiled up at him. "I, Prince Charming, ask for your ear. For I shall sing for you my love!"

Thor only blinked at him, "I do not understand shield brother why is this man saying his love unto me?"

Tony, who had watched all this happen with a dazed look upon his face, answered Thor, "I believe that this guy is suppose to be the prince to your princess. I'm right aren't I narrator? Got to say, 'Prince Charming'? Really? Couldn't come up with a better name for a prince?"

"Who said anything about this being the prince of the story?"

"Huh..what do you mean? He's a guy wearing tights. Of course he's the prince."

"He is only ONE of them."

"Wait what!"

As this information was sinking into Tony's brain, Prince Charming had been preparing himself for his song. He had sprayed his mouth with mint favored mouth wash, whipped his hair around like a lasso, and finally stood with one hand raised in the air.

"My lovely Princess Thor, listening and weep for I present my song!" He raised both hands into the air, music started to roar as he opened his mouth and...

Out of the bushes came another prince. Well he wore the clothes of one, but looked like he never took a bath. He stared at them, not blinking, and walked up to Thor. "Princess. I know I am a dangerous man but I ask you to not listen to this man's love song. He does not love you like I do."

Prince Charming, looking really angry at being interrupted, turned to the new prince. "Who the hell do you think you are? For I am Prince Charming, the greatest prince of this land. This lovely Princess is mine! For own love is true! For I heard Thor's voice and fell in love with her so deeply that I can think of no one else but her."

The other prince glared at him, "I am Prince Robert. I fell in love with Thor the moment I smelt him. He truly has a beautiful smell."

Tony, and Thor, could only watch in amazement as one after another Prince came out of the bush. They fought among themselves about who loved Thor more, their voices running into each others.

"Wow. You sure are popular Thor." Tony was highly amused, but sadly, god seems to hate him today for the narrator went and rained on his amusement.

"You do know, as the fairy, you need to find Thor's true love and help him rescue Thor right?"

"Oh shit. I forgot that..." He stared at each of the princes (now six of them, Robert had still not blinked), "Which one is it?"

The narrator just laughed, "Like I would tell and ruin the fun of you trying to guess."

Before Tony could say anything back, Chekhov spoke up, "Maybe you should think about stopping these guys from killing each other first."

Sure enough, the princes had started to go at it. Thor had tried to step in and stop them but it seems his actions where useless. Tony wiped his wand out and pointed it at them.

"If you guys don't calm down I will be forced to use this."

Naturally this did nothing, and the princes continued to fight. Only breaking apart when the bush started to shake again.

"Oh please not another." Prince Charming cried, Tony could only agree with this statement as he quickly pointed his wand at the bush.

He would be thankful that he hadn't though of something to say, for the prince that came out of the bush , was Steve.

"STEVE!" Tony cried out, a smile racing across his face. Steve returned it, the poor guy looked like he had gone though a wind storm.

"Tony! Thor! I'm so glad I found you guys!" He cried out, as he made his way over to them. Only to stop and stare at the princes. "Ummm hi?"

Prince Charming growled, "Have you too come to fight for Princess Thor's hand?"

Pulling a confused face Steve stared at him, "Umm no? And what do you mean by.." It was then that he saw Thor. "Thor. What in the world are you wearing?"

Thor blinked at him, "A dress. Do I really look that bad?"

"Thor. No offence but you in a dress should be against the law." Tony answered, busy eyeing Steve. "You alright there buddy? Eyes not burning from your sockets yet?"

Steve shook his head, "No. I'm fine. Its not that bad, just surprising." Seeing how upset Thor looked he added, "You look lovely Thor."

The Princes(tired of being ignored), all spoke up at once, "Princess Thor make your decision. Let it be me!" Naturally this caused another fight among them.

Steve, looking even more confused, when over to them to split them up, "Guys stop it! I don't know what is going on but I'm sure we can solve what ever the problem is, without violence!"

Prince Robert nodded, "I agree with this young Prince! If we continue to fight I may harm someone! Let us sing instead. The song that woos the fair Princess can marry her!"

"Oh hell no. Not more singing!" Tony cried, but the music had already started. As each Prince in turn sung to Thor.

After each was done, each of the princes turned to Steve.

"Why are they looking at me?"

"There looking because its your turn big boy." Chekhov swooned, "Damn you are fine."

"Excuse me? ...WAIT is a tree talking to me?" Steve asked. Staring at Chekhov in horror.

Tony petted his arm, "Yeah. It's a talking tree named Chekhov. Just accepted it."

Steve nodded, "Alright. If you say so Tony but why do I have to sing?"

The narrator, who had been oddly silence up to this point, spoke up, "Ah Captain America. Welcome to my story! Your part is that of a Prince and as you saw the princes had decided to have a singing contest for Thor's love. So you too must sing."

Before Steve could question about the un-bodied voice, he started to sing. "When I look into your eyes, I see the sky.."

The forest fell silence, as Steve's voice rang out. It was soft and calming. The trees swooned, as he sang. As the song continued, Steve turned to face Tony, " You're my everything. The one I fight for. If I can have you just for a day..my life would be complete."

"DAMN." Chekhov broke in, as the music faded. Everyone was staring at Steve(who had turned a bright red), "You have quite a voice on you."

Prince Charming coughed, "Well it seems we have lost boys. Take good care of our Princess Thor dear sir." With that all the princes left, leaving just the avengers behind.

"Well then. It seems we have a winner! Cap is THOR'S TRUE LOVE!"

At that moment, Tony's heart stopped. As what just happen set in. Thor was the one to speak, "As lovely as cap's voice was. I do not love him in that way."

Steve nodded, "Yes. I do not like Thor that way."

The narrator snorted, "Like I care about your feelings? Your parts are of lovers and unless you want your friends to die..I suggest you play them."

Steve looked at Tony, "It seems we have no choice. I..Tony.."

Tony smiled(though it was so fake that it didn't even deserved to be called one), "Its fine. We have to play by the narrator's rules. Anyway you and Thor will make a great couple."

Chekhov, even though a tree, noticed the tension in the air and whispered to Thor, "Are those two lovers or something?"

"I believe not. Though my fellow avengers and I agree that they love each other but are too stubborn to admit it."

_And so the Princess had found her Prince. As the day pasted, the kingdom got ready for the Princess birthday. Unaware that the witch sat plotting in her castle._

Far from the tension fulled forest, lay a castle. Loki sat in a throne and glared down at his crystal ball.

"Is something the matter Loki?" The narrator asked, "Is their something in my story not to your liking?"

"Its fine..but really Captain America? Him? He is not worthily of being my brother's true love."

"I agree but you must admit it makes a interesting story. What with Iron man and Cap being in love."

"So you know then."

If a voice could nod, the narrator would have, "Naturally. It is obvious. Now its about time for your part is it not?"

Loki glared up at the heavens, "I will make you pay for this. I am not someone you try to control."

"Now Loki..do not make this hard for yourself..do your job and I will keep my promise to free you and your brother from my story."

_So the witch took to the sky with a plan. A plan that will send Princess Thor into a deep and unbreakable sleep._

_  
_

End of Chapter three~


	4. In which Thor pricks his finger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor pricks his finger, and the curse sends him into a deep sleep. Now Steve will have to kiss him, but can Tony allow his true love to become another's? In fact will even Loki allow it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter that Thor/Loki subtext starts(with the chapter after this one being TEXT). At first I wasn't going to have Thor/Loki in this fanfiction but the idea of writing a crack! version of Loki was too amusing to pass up. So enjoy the painfully oc!Loki.  
> I regret nothin

_As the evil witch flew away with her devilish new plan, the lovely Princess Thor found herself falling in love with a mysterious prince._

Chekhov may be a tree but even he(she?), could sense the tension in the air. Tony wasn't looking at Steve, who was staring at him like a lost puppy and Thor was staring at them both in confusion.

"I hate to add to the tension, oh who I'm I kidding I would love to add to the tension, but its time that the princess return to the castle." The narrator said, and before the group's eyes the scene around them started to disappear.

"What is happening?" Steve cried in alarm, as the forest vanished around him.

"Simple, its time for the next part of the story to start. So the scene must change and you must go."

Steve blinked, he felt a suddenly pull, he looked down, "AHH! MY LEGS WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LEGS?"

Tony snapped his head up and looked at Steve. Sure enough Steve leg's were disappearing right before his eyes. "STEVE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING NARRATOR?"

The narrator snorted, "Don't panic, I'm just putting him back in the forest until the Prince is needed."

Naturally this did not stop Tony found panicking and reaching out his hand to Steve. With a popping sound he was reaching for just air, as he and Thor found themselves back in the castle.

"No. Steve.." Tony lowered his hand and glared up at the sky, "He better be okay..because if he isn't I will kill you myself."

"He's fine, Chekhov is keeping him company." The narrator said calmly, not even effected by Tony's threats.

Thor placed his hand on Tony's shoulder, "Calm yourself shield brother. I'm sure that Steve is okay. Right now we must play our parts and finish this story as fast as we can."

Tony nodded, and turned to look around, "Okay. Fine. Now where is this wheel thing? I want to get this over with."

With that Tony walked off to look, Thor followed right after. Both unaware that a third party had appeared in the room they had just walked out of.

"Well hello Loki! I was wondering when you would appear."

Loki glared up at the ceiling in answer.

"My...my everyone seems to be mad at me today."

"I have no idea why. I mean its not like you've trapped us in a storybook world and are forcing us to play to your pleasure."

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

Loki rolled his eyes, "What is it that you want me to do?"

"Simple. Get Princess Thor to prick his finger."

"That helps. Could you be more detailed maybe?"

The narrator said nothing and Loki was left to his own devices. "Lovely, now you decide to shut up." With a sign he walked in the direction that Thor had went.

 _The fairy looked all around the castle but did not find_   _the wheel. In fact in found nothing even a little bit sharp. She was quite pleased, for this meant that the Princess was safe._

"WHAT THE HELL? WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FIND SOMETHING SHARP IN THIS PLACE?" Tony fumed.

_Of course it all depends on your definition of pleased._

Thor patted him on the shoulder, "I'm sure we will find something soon."

It was then that Loki entered the room, and froze, "Brother. What in the world are you wearing?"

Tony and Thor jumped around at his voice, "BROTHER? What are you doing here?" Thor cried, as he walk towards Loki, "Has the narrator trapped you as well?"

Loki would have answered him, but he was to busy drooling over all the leg that the dress Thor wore showed off.

"Brother are you alright?" Thor now stood before his brother, and he went to touch him.

Upon seeing his brother's hands coming towards him that Loki flinched, causing Thor's fingers to meet the top of his pointed helmet. With not even a whimper Thor went down.

"THOR!" Tony and Loki screamed out at the same time. Tony running over to his fallen friend's side.

_It was horrible. The Princess had pricked her finger and fallen in a deep sleep. Now only true love's kiss could awaken her._

"He seems to be okay..he's just sleeping."

Thor let out a snore, his arms spend out either side of him.

Loki blushed, "Isn't he beautiful?"

Tony only stared at him, "I suppose..anyway what are you doing here anyway Loki."

Loki, who was starting lovely at Thor, actually answered him. "The narrator picked me out of the air and demanded I play my part in his story or he would kill Thor. Which I can't allow because only I can kill Thor."

"Uh huh." Tony could point out that if Loki wanted to kill Thor he now had the perfect chance, but he rather not.

_And so the King and Queen sent out a message. Looking for the princess' true love. One prince heard that message and went away to the castle to awaken his love._

_  
_

End of Chapter four~


	5. In which True love’s kiss saves the day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The power of a true love's kiss will awaken the sleeping Thor...but who is his true love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the chapter that I decided to make ThorLoki the second main couple in this story. This is also one of the shorter chapters, as I was suffering from writer's block at the time of writing this.  
> Hope you enjoy it.

   Back at the forest, Steve sat listening to Chekhov, as it told him it's life story.

"Then when I was twenty Bobby was cut down for a Christmas tree, which was a completely wrong move, as Bobby is quite a talker and most likely would ruin their Christmas by singing bad covers of Disney songs."

Steve frowned at the tree concerned, "Weren't you upset that they cut your friend down?"

"Well yeah, but I'm a tree! I see my friends get cut down all the time..I suppose I'm just desensitized."

Before Steve could answer, a white tube fell from the sky and hit him on the head.

"What in the world?" Chekhov said in wonder, staring down at the tube, "Where did that come from?"

"From me obviously." The narrator finally spoke up, Steve stood up so fast at his voice that the tube fell to the ground.

"You! Where are my friends! I demand you tell me!"

"Don't get so prissy, you can see your friends now. The Prince is needed."

Steve just glared up at the sky, which made the narrator a little nervous. For it was Captain America doing the glaring but he did nothing, He just bend down and picked up the tube, popping it open.

"So what is in the tube or great and powerful ruler?" Chekhov snarled, as Steve pulled out what looked like a piece of paper.

"Why is everyone so mean to me today? Specially you Chekhov! I though we were friends!"

"Not anymore. I was won over to the other side by the power of friendship."

"CURSE YOU THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!"

"Sorry to brake into your conversation..." Steve said, staring down at the paper, "But why couldn't you just tell me that Tony was going to appear and bring me to Thor?"

"Don't know..that would have made more sense actually."

Steve signed, "So when is Tony going to show up?"

"Right about now actually."

With a popping sound Tony appeared above Steve's head.

"This is not going to end well." Chekhov whispered under his breath.

Sure enough Tony fell right on top of Steve and the two fell to the ground. The two blushed and stared in each others eyes.

"Did you two need a room?" The narrator asked, braking the sexual tension fulled moment.

Tony quickly jumped up, "No, So I just bring Steve to the castle right? Lets do this." He quickly started to walk away. Hoping that no one saw the blush on his face.

"Wait up Tony!" Steve cried out, as he stood up and made his way after Tony.

Chekhov watched them go, "You know I been wondering why didn't you make one of them the princess? Its oblivious that their in love with each other."

"I know but it is just so much fun to crush people's hearts."

"You're an asshole." Chekhov growled, before pulling out his roots one by one.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to go help my new friends!" With that Chekhov went after Steve and Tony. The narrator watched this new development with glee.

"Oh! What a beautiful twist in my story! I wonder how this will affect the outcome of my stories?"

One scene change later...

"Oh Thor, I could stare at you forever.." Loki cooed, looking down at Thor's beautiful face. His looking was interrupted by the entering of Tony(along with Steve and what appeared to be a walking tree).

"Well welcome back, how was your trip."

"Shut up Loki and could you stop drooling over Thor for a second, we need Steve to kiss and get this story over with." Tony snapped.

Loki raised a eyebrow, Tony seemed really upset about something, 'Most likely upset because his lover has to kiss someone else."

"Loki! What are you doing here?" Steve cried out in shock, grasping his sword.

Tony quickly put out a hand stopping him, "He is on our side for now."

Steve nodded, before walking over to Thor's form. "So I just kiss him and he'll wake up right?"

"That is how the spell works..well if you're his true love anyway.." The narrator said, as he watched the scene unfold.

Steve nodded again, before kneeing before Thor's body, "Well here goes.." He shot a look Tony's way but he did nothing.

So very slowly Steve's lips lowered towards Thor's. Tony watched in horror, 'No I can't do this but I have to let him if we want Thor to wake up!' While Tony fought inside himself on what to do, Loki had no problem coming to a decision.

"Sorry Captain, but if anyone is going to kiss Thor. Its GOING TO BE ME." With that he pushed Steve away and kissed Thor.

"You actually think your kiss will work? Only his true love can wake him up!" The narrator laughed, only to grasp in shock as Thor's eyes opened. "Well I be damned. I did not see that coming. How marvelous! Another twist! Beautiful!"

Loki ignored him and smiled down at Thor. "Good morning brother."

Thor blinked and smiled back. "Hello. What did I miss?"

Tony laughed and dropped to his knees, "Good to see you awake bub!" He was full of relieve, Steve had not been Thor's true love.

Steve smiled at Loki, "I never would have guessed..your Thor's true lo.."

He didn't get to finish his sentence, as the floor they were all kneed on disappeared.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Tony shouted, as the group fell though a empty sky.

"Onward my friends to the next story! I wonder what more twists you will bring to my stories!"

Thor acted quickly, gasping Loki with one hand and Steve with another. Steve shot out a hand.

"Tony! Take my hand!"

Tony reached out and grasped Steve's.

So the group fell(along with Chekhov), not at all prepared for the world that lay ahead.

End of Chapter Five~!

 


	6. In which Loki becomes A avenger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Most of the avengers have been transformed into children! Now Tony, Steve and Loki must work together and watch over their weakened friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter in which Tony and Loki have issues. Seriously I have no idea how this chapter came out so angsty. I blame Tony and his need to beat himself down.

  
   “Tony wake up!”  
Blinking, Tony slowly opened his eyes and all he saw was blue. Steve was leading over him, so close that Tony could count each one of his lashes if he wanted.  
“Tony are you okay?” Steve said, as he bend back a little to allow Tony to sit up.  
“I’m fine, so where are we now?” Tony asked, taking a moment to look around at his surroundings. It appeared that he and Steve(and Loki who appeared to be holding a potted plant) where in a teenage girl’s room.  
Posters of handsome men covered the blue walls, and to his side were a pile of teddy bears.  
“Okay. We appear to be in the room of a teenage girl..and where is Thor?!”  
Steve frowned, “We don’t know. We think the narrator separated us again.”  
Loki glared up at the ceiling, “My brother better be alright or I will personally track the narrator down and rip out his eyes.”  
“Calm your hormones Loki, your brother is fine.” The Narrator boomed out.  
The group jumped up at his voice. Though it was Tony that spoke up, “So what story are you going to make us take part in this time?”  
“Well if I told you that would ruin all the fun. Just answer the phone once it rings and you know what story this is.”  
Sure enough, after the narrator had finished speaking, the phone went off. Steve(being the closest) answered it.  
“Hello?”  
“Is this the babysitters club?” Said a woman’s voice.  
“Ummm..Yes?”  
“Good. I was wondering if you girls would be a doll and look after my Thor for me?”  
“Of course! We’ll be right there!”  
Loki and Tony watched from the background, as Steve nodded his head at something the other person said before hanging up.  
“So what story are we in?” Tony asked, noticing Steve’s confused face.  
“We are a babysitters club..and I found Thor.”  
Before Tony could say anything about that information, Loki jumped up(dropping the plant) and grasped Steve’s arm.  
“WHERE. IS.HE?”  
“Thor is at a house three blocks from here..but Loki there is something you need to know..”  
Loki, naturally, didn’t stay to listen and was up out of the room so fast that Tony was sure he saw a smoke could come up behind him.  
Steve signed, before getting up himself, “Well we better go after him. He isn’t going to like what part he has Thor playing...”  
Tony stood and blinked at him, “What part is it?”  
Steve sighed again, “Well if we are the babysitter’s club..we would need children to look after..”  
“NO WAY. He turned Thor into a kid?” Tony couldn’t help but be a little amazed by the narrator’s guts. Just last story Loki had found out that Thor was his true love but before he could tell him they were sent to another world. In which Thor was a child and unable to return his feelings. ‘That is kind of cruel. Poor loki.’  
Tony went to leave the room but stopped when he noticed that Steve was behind him. “Um, Steve shouldn’t we get going?” He turned his head around to look back and nearly had a heart attack.  
Steve was bend over, his ass high in the air, as he picked up the potted plant. Tony, unashamed stare longingly.  
Steve was oblivious(because OF COURSE), as he stood back up and turn to face Tony. “Well we can’t leave without Chekhov.”  
At the name Tony snapped out of his lustful state, “That potted plant is Chekhov?! Whoa dude what happened to you?” He addressed the plant.  
Chekhov snorted, “Well we aren’t in the forest anymore, so I needed to take a different form to fit into this world. The potted plant was the first form I though of.”  
Steve smiled down at the plant, “And it is a lovely form.”  
Tony may have imaged it but it almost looked like the plant was blushing.  
“Thank you Cap. Well lets go and save some poor story person from Loki’s rage.”  
So the two(plus plant) went off.  
Three blocks later, the two(plus plant) found Loki. He was standing in someone’s front garden holding a smaller Thor in his arms.  
They rushed over, but it seemed both were fine. Though Loki look very sadden by something.  
“Loki did something happen? Is Thor alright?” Steve asked worryingly. Looking at Thor to check for any scars.  
Thor’s head came up from Loki’s chest, a wide smile on his face, “Hello there! My name is Thor! I’m five! Who are you guys?!”  
‘Oh that..that is just way to cruel.’ Tony cried, he felt even worst for Loki now.  
Thankfully Steve jumped to action, before the silence could kill again. “My name is Steve, and this is Tony and Chekhov.”  
Thor laughed, “Its nice to meet you! Are you guys all here to play with me?”  
Steve smiled, bending down to be eye to eye with Thor. “Of course, but before that why don’t we get you something to eat okay?”  
“Okay!” Thor said happily, jumping up from Loki’s arms and rushing to the house. Steve stayed on his knees and turned to place a hand on Loki’s shoulders.  
“Are you going to be okay?”  
Loki smiled(but it was so fake that even Chekhov flinched), “I’ll be fine. Its just..seeing my brother this small reminds me alot..of times I wish not to remember.”  
Steve just petted Loki’s arm some more, “Its okay Loki. We’ll play our parts and get out of this world quickly. But for now we have a child to care for. Not just any child..but Thor.”  
Loki nodded, seemingly to agree with him, “Your right.” He stood and made his way into the house, “I can’t allow my feelings to control me. Just because Thor can not remember me now...”  
He looked so sad at the notion, and Steve reached out and hugged him. “Its only for a short time Loki.”  
Loki nodded and walked though the house door, calling over his shoulder, “You are a good man Captain. Thank you.”  
Tony was just amazed and stared at Steve, “How did you do that?! You just bonded with LOKI!”  
Steve laughed, making his way to the house, “Loki is Thor true love and that means he is a avenger now. I must do all I can to help out my teammates and insure their happiness.”  
Tony felt his love for Steve raise in his chest, “You really are something else you know that. Most people wouldn’t just help, or accept, a former villain like that.”  
Steve just smiled, before vanishing inside.  
Tony followed after, wishing with all his heart that he could take Steve into his arms. Every time Steve did something like this Tony was reminded why he fallen in love with him.  
Chekhov let out a dreamy sign, “What a man.”  
Tony glared down at the plant, “That is my man so step off.”  
Chekhov moved a leaf, “Sorry but you can’t blame me.”  
No he couldn’t. As Tony stood in that kitchen, watching Steve and Loki make Thor a snack. He was hit with a feeling of jealously over Loki.  
Why? Because Loki had gotten to have Steve’s arm around him and all Tony has gotten is a pat on the shoulder.  
“Tony you want anything?” Steve asked with a smile, holding up a knife.  
“Sure.”  
So he stood there wishing Steve would just hold him. As Thor tried to talk Loki into cutting his sandwich into a smile face. Unaware that the narrator was plotting something more. Something that would help him. Something that would finally get the two together.  
He was unaware because the narrator really didn’t want people to know he was a good guy. He(it) sighed as he watched the scene unfold. He had a lot of work ahead. ‘Why are these too stubborn? Why can’t they admit they love each other already?!’  
‘Well better set the plot moving..lets get all the avengers together now..’  
“Sorry to brake the moment. Which I am not. But Thor isn’t the only kid you’ll be watching!”  
The gang glared up at the ceiling, “What do you mean?” Steve asked.  
“All the other avengers have been turned into kids too!”  
“What?!” Tony shouted, “You want us to take care of that many kids?!”  
“Yup! ENJOY!!”  
And so the scene faded, with Tony swearing up at the ceiling. Steve trying and failing to cover Thor’ ears and Loki wondering why he even turned good for this.  
Chekhov just waved his leafs. Because he is a plant and that is what plants do.

End of Chapter six~!


	7. In which Steve is ridiculously good with children

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Babysitting is a lot harder than Tony thought. It doesn't help that he hates children with a burning passion, but these aren't normal kids. They are little versions of his friends. So he must suck it up and take care of them. Hilarity and cuteness ensue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cuteness level of this chapter is OVER NINE THOUSAND! Just...dear lord child!Clint...he gavew me cavities when I was writing him.  
> Anyway this chapter is basically cute fluff, with some plot points that will be brought up in future chapters. Hope you enjoy it!

        If there was one thing in this world Tony hated more than losing(unless it was against Steve, cause he was only human, and a sweating Steve was way to hard to not look at), was children. They were loud, annoying little brats that always got what they wanted and got anyway with everything. As he looked around at his surroundings he had to take it back. He despite children.  
The rest of the avengers had magically appeared, but as the Narrator had so lovely told them, they were all children. Thor was swinging a toy hammer around(and where had that come from?!), Bruce had hulked out and destroyed the kitchen table. Natasha was glaring at everyone from a corner, Clint was hanging off Hulk’s back like a monkey, and Logan was crying on the top of his lungs.  
“Please..someone..anyone..just kill me.” Tony sobbed into his hands, as he fell into the only remaining chair.  
Chekhov, who sat on the kitchen’s fridge, nodded his agreement, “I never knew human children were so destructive. Tree children are way more behaved.”  
Thor suddenly let out a cried of alarm, as Hulk growled at him and tackled him to the ground.  
“LOKI HELP!!!” He cried out, not that he needed to as Loki had already gotten up from the floor and pulled Hulk off his brother.  
Hulk roared in anger, swinging his arms around and trying to hit Loki. Clint, who had been hanging off Hulk’s back, had fallen to the floor when Loki had picked Hulk up, started to cry.  
“This..this is a disaster. We are superheros, not babysitters! What the hell are we suppose to do?” Tony asked the heavens, throwing his head back to stare up at the ceiling.  
As if to answer his prays, Steve walked back into the room. He had left earlier to put Storm to bed. He did a double take as he saw the broken table, broken chairs and the crying children.  
“Guys I was gone for five minutes..what in the world happened?!”  
Before Tony could answer, Clint and Logan had both stopped crying and ran up to Steve.  
“STEVE LOKI DROPPED ME!” Clint sobbed, pressing his face into Steve’s leg. Logan just hugged Steve’s leg.  
Steve glared at Loki, “I’m sure he didn’t mean to. Now don’t cry. How about we all go to the living room and draw?”  
Clint sobs stopped, he smiled up at Steve, “Can I draw with Hulk?”  
“Of course you can sweetie. But you have to ask Hulk if he wants to draw first okay?”  
Clint nodded, and he rushed off to Loki’s side. He stared of at Hulk, “Hulk you want to draw with me?”  
“Okay..”  
Loki lowered Hulk to the ground, as he and Clint ran off to the living room. Steve smiled, “So is everyone up for some drawing?”  
“OH OH MY DRAWING IS GOING TO BE THE BEST!” Thor said happily, grasping Loki’s hand and running off. Slowly the other kids got up and moved to the living room.  
“How did you do that?” Chekhov asked, as Steve picked him up from the top of the fridge.  
“Do what?”  
“Get all the kids to calm down?”  
“I just gave them something to do that’s all.” He turned to face Tony, “You coming Tony?”  
“I rather stay here thanks. I had enough children interaction for a life time.”  
Steve frowned, “You make it sound like being around children is such a chore..”  
Tony turned his head, until he was looking at Steve, “That is because it is.”  
Steve just frowned harder(if that is possible), “Well I better go see how the kids are doing with the drawings. You know the kids that were once ARE FRIENDS. I’ll just leave you here..maybe you could pick up the table. Or is that to much of a chore?”  
With that Steve turned and walk out of the kitchen, leaving a wide mouthed Tony.  
“Well my friend I believe you just pressed Steve’s berserk button.”  
Tony glared up at the ceiling, “Yeah I know..now if you excuse me.”  
He got up from his chair so fast that it was set flying, “Wait Steve! Wait up!”  
Once Tony entered the room, he was greeted by the site of his mini friends drawing. Thor was trying(and failing) to draw him and Loki(who according to him was his big brother), Clint was drawing Hulk, Hulk was just drawing lines, Natasha was drawing...something that Tony didn’t want to look at to hard and Logan was drawing, what looked like Scott. Steve was holding Peter(who had fallen asleep) in his arms, he looked up when he heard Tony come into the room.  
“Hey..” Tony said softly, as he stepped around Chekhov and sat next to Steve. “Sorry about being a ass. These are own friends and I should help take care of them.”  
Tony almost did a double take when he saw how sad Steve looked.  
Steve frowned, “No I was in the wrong to yell at you like that. I’m just so frustrated at being able to do nothing to stop the Narrator...and I took it out at you.”  
“No, no I deserved to be yelled at! I mean did you see the kitchen? I wasn’t even trying and..”  
“No Tony! There was nothing you could..Chekhov told me how out of control the kids were..”  
“Well I could have done something..”  
“OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE OUT ALREADY.” Chekhov shouted, shaking his leafs in frustration.  
Steve and Tony both turned so red that a lobster watching from outside the window was jealous by its shade.  
“We..Why..gwsyhbdu.” Steve grasped out, his brush travelling down his neck and under his shirt.  
Tony couldn’t help but wonder how far down that brush went.  
As if to save Steve from dying from brushing to hard, Clint jumped up from his spot on the floor and held out his drawing for Steve to see.  
“Look! Look! I drew Hulk and Bruce!” He pointed at the small green ball on the paper, “That’s Hulk and that next to him is Bruce!”  
Steve blushed disappeared and was replaced by a bright smile, “That is a great picture Clint! Why don’t you show it to Hulk? I’m sure he loved it!”  
Clint nodded, and ran up to Hulk, who was know trying to rip though his paper with a crayon.  
“Look Hulk! I drew you and Bruce!” Clint said, falling to throw his arms around Hulk’s neck.  
Hulk looked at the drawing, and Tony had to be imaging it, blush.  
“Thank you cupid.”  
“No problem! Hey what are you drawing?”  
Hulk stared down at the lines on his paper, “I was trying to draw bird..it didn’t turn out well.”  
“Well I think it’s a great bird!”  
Yup, Hulk was blushing.  
Tony had to admit, that was kind of cute.  
One by one the kids finished their pictures and showed them to Steve. Steve smiled at each one and praised them.  
Tony heart jumped and danced. Steve with children was doing weird things with his heart. He didn’t want to think to hard on what these weird things meant.  
Steve clapped his hands together, “All of you did a great job! Now then who is up for a movie?”  
The kids let out a cheer, well besides Natasha and Logan. Who just smiled.  
Steve went over to the tv set, that Tony had not seen before, and turned it on.  
“Hey Loki, how much of your magic can you use in this world?” Steve asked suddenly.  
Loki raised a eyebrow, “A little..oh I get it.” A smile grew on his face, “What movie were you thinking of?”  
“How about some Disney movie?”  
Tony had to say something, “Just not sleeping beauty. I think we all agree we don’t need Thor in a dress flashbacks.”  
Chekhov nodded his agreement. Loki just stared at him, “But Thor was beautiful in that dress.”  
Thor looked up at Loki(from his spot in his lap), “When did I wear a dress?”  
Before Loki could answer that the kids made there opinion known.  
“Can we watch Tangled?” Natasha asked quietly.  
Steve smiled at her, “Sure. Loki?”  
“On it.”  
With a pop tangled appeared on the tv. The kids let out a cheer. Tony couldn’t help but question Loki.  
“How do you ever know what Tangled is?”  
“What do you think I’m doing when I’m not kicking the avengers asses? Your earth ‘pop culture’ is quite interesting.”  
Tony had nothing to say to that, and turned to watch the movie. It was peaceful actually, the kids were all laying on the floor watching the movie. The cutest scenes were Clint laying on top of Hulk and Thor sitting in Loki’s lap.  
But the image that had Tony staring was Steve, who looked so happy. At one point, Peter woke up and let out a cry but Steve had quieted him gently, kissing his forehead.  
Tony realized then that he really wanted that child Steve was holding to be his.  
So the avengers watched the movie, for once peaceful and happy.  
The Narrator watched and was pleased, as he prepared his next story.

End of Chapter seven~!


	8. In which Clint wins the cutest kid award

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Loki have a chat. Emotions are had. Clint continues to be way to cute to handle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot how short this chapter is...holy crap. Sorry. This chapter is also less cracky then usually...In stead we get Tony and Loki feels. Oh boys when will you learn that you need to be open about your feelings?

     The movie was over and the little avengers looked a little out of it. Steve quickly jumped into action.

"Alright everyone I think its time for a nap!"

There were some groans at this but no one argued with him. It had been a long day, and it seemed like everyone just wanted to fall over and never get up again. Loki raised a hand, and with a pop, blankets and pillows fell from the sky. Each of the little avengers took one each and took a spot on the floor.

The Hulk was the only one that made no move to take a blanket, instead he sat watching everyone else get settled down to take a nap.

Steve(who secret power seemed to be knowing when someone was upset), went to his side. "What's the matter Hulk?"

The Hulk looked up at him, he looked almost shy, "I don't want to go to sleep. If the Hulk sleeps he is a open target..need to stay awake to stay safe."

Steve heart went out to him, as he petted the Hulk's arm, "Its okay to sleep here Hulk. Me, Tony and Loki will protect you."

The Hulk still looked worried, but before Steve could say anything else, Clint walked over to them with a determined face on. He placed his blanket next to the Hulk and then preceded to lay down. He placed his head on the Hulk's knee and finally spoke, "If your scared I'll sleep next to you so you wont be alone."

The Hulk reached out with his hand and petted Clint's head. He looked shocked that someone would be willing to sleep next to him. Steve smiled at him, "See? Now your not alone. Its okay to sleep now."

With a nod The Hulk fell asleep, his hand still on Clint's head. Tony couldn't help but be moved. How could he not be? He wasn't soulless!

"That was the cutest thing I have ever seen. I think I may even have cavities."

Steve rolled his eyes at him, before getting up and checking on the other kids, they were all asleep. Thor was snoring up a storm and Peter(who Steve had placed on the floor with the other children) was curled into Wolverine's side.

"So what do we do while their sleeping?"Chekhov whispered.

"I suppose we should at least attempt to clean up the mess in the kitchen." Steve answered, taking one last look to see that everyone was okay.

"I'll handle the mess. You stay here and keep watch over the children." Loki spoke up, as he turned to leave the room. Sending Thor once last looked, "I'll be right back."

So Steve, Tony and Chekhov were left alone. At one point Steve went and got Storm from the room(And the site of Steve carrying a sleeping child so gently did things to Tony's heart that he didn't want to look into). Other than that not much happened, and Tony found himself falling asleep himself.

When Tony woke up, the children were gone and so was Steve and Chekhov. A panic raised up in his chest and he jumped up from his position on the floor.

"So it seems your finally awake."

Tony turned his head, and finally noticed Loki standing by the entrance to the living room.

"Where is everyone?"

"The backyard, they are playing some human game called 'What time is it Mister Wolf?'"

Tony smiled, "This I got to see."

As he went to leave the room Loki stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, "Stark when do you plan to tell the Captain your feelings?"

Tony flinched, his smile falling off his face, "What are you talking about? I don't have any feelings for Steve."

"I call Bullshit. You were all over him even in your sleep. Not to mention all that unresolved sexual tension you two have going on."

Tony sighed, "Okay. I have feelings for Steve but its not like he would ever return them."

Loki sighed himself, "You really are blind aren't you? Stark..The Captain is in lo.."

"LOKI!" Thor cried out, running into the room and throwing his arms around his legs, "GUESS WHAT I WON!"

Loki quickly forgot about Tony and dropped to his knees to hug Thor, "Congratulations Thor!"

Tony just stood there for a second as Loki unspoken words flew though his head. Loki couldn't have meant what he thought he meant. It couldn't be possible, not even in his wildest dreams that Steve would actually return his feelings. 'How could he? There is nothing about me to like.' Tony thought to himself.

It was then that Steve came into the room carrying Bruce, who looked a little worst for wear. Clint came right behind him, looking up in worry at Bruce.

"Hi Tony, do you have a good nap?" Steve asked, sending one of the sweetest smiles Tony's way.

"Yeah I did. Where's Chekhov by the way?"

"Outside watching the kids for a second." Steve lowered Bruce into a chair, "Can you guys watch Bruce and make sure he is okay? I don't want to leave Chekhov alone for long."

"Sure thing. You go before they turned Chekhov into leaves."

With one last smile Steve was out the door, leaving Tony to deal with a child. He turned to look at Bruce, who was staring right back. Before the awkward could kill the air itself, Clint stepped forward and petted Bruce's knee. Getting Bruce's attention.

"Hey you okay Bruce?"

Bruce nodded, "Just a little tired."

"If your tired I can take a nap with you!"

Bruce shook his head, "But you already took a nap. I can't ask you to force yourself to sleep again..just because I'm to scare to sleep by myself."

Clint shook his head, putting on his seriously face, "I'll just lay next to you then!"

Seeing that Clint couldn't be argued with Bruce nodded and allowed Clint to pull him into the living room.

Tony watched all this with a weird look on his face, "I never would have guessed that Clint would be that cute a kid."

Loki was about to agree, when he saw the glare that Thor was giving him, "Yes Clint makes a adorable kid but Thor is cuter."

Thor smiled, "Do you really think so?"

The love fulled smile on Loki's face , nearly made Tony double take, "Of course."

"Well I'm sorry to brake this moment..wait I'm not.." The Narrator said annoyingly.

Tony and Loki's heads snapped up, "Narrator." They said in unison.

"Hello to you too. You know your not suppose to be enjoying my stories you know. Your suppose to complain and amuse me with your angst."

The two just glared at the sky, Loki taking Thor into his arms and blocking him from site with his arms. "What do you plan to do now?"

"Send you all to another story of course!"

Before Tony or Loki could say anything, the area around them faded and the world turned black. The last thought Tony had was the hope that were ever the Narrator send him Steve was send there to.

End of Chapter Eight~!

 


	9. In which everyone wants to jump Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their were three things that Tony was absolutely positive about. First, Steve was hot. Second, sleeping was for normal people. And third, he was going to find the narrator when this was all over and skin him alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, this chapter starts off my favorite arc of the whole story. Alot of stuff happens in this arc, and by stuff I mean one of our couples are finally going to get together. But which one? Read on and find out

     

  Their were three things that Tony was absolutely positive about. First, Steve was hot. Second, sleeping was for normal people. And third, he was going to find the narrator when this was all over and skin him alive.

* * *

As the new world had appeared around him, he had been prepared for anything. He had been prepared for Thor in another dress, even a zombie to come up and bite his face off. He was not prepared to look down at his hand and notice that he was sparkling.

'No, this can't be the story that I think it is. No one could be that evil.'He thought to himself, as he looked around himself.

The rest of the avengers, who were all their right ages, were also sparkling. All but Steve, who was smelling really good all of a sudden.

"Shit." Tony moaned, as that other piece of evident made it quite clear what was going on. Poking out his tongue and licking his new fangs was just the icing on the evident cake.

Before he could freak out though, the other avengers(who had been out cold during Tony realization), began to wake up and stand. Each one have a much different reaction to their now sparkling skin.

Natasha just raise one eyebrow, Clint started to swear up a storm, Bruce just stared at his skin like it had suddenly turned purple before his eyes, Storm just laughed madly, Wolverine glared, Peter cried, Loki just sighed and Thor brought his hand up to his face.

"What kind of magic is this?" He roared, turning to his brother, "What is this? Why is my skin shining?"

Loki turned to face him, "It appears to be a feature of this world."

Clint stopped swearing long enough to snap his head up and notice something, "Hey guys..what smells so good?"

The gang looked around, before all their eyes feel on Steve. Who had just gotten up from the ground(holding Chekhov in one hand), "Oh thank god..you guys are all alright...Wait why are you guys are staring at me?"

Clint just stared at him, "Why in the world do you smell so good Cap? And why do I have the urge to tackle you? AND WHAT IS GOING ON?"

"I believe I can answer that my dear Hawkeye." The Narrator spoke up.

The gang quickly looked to the skies, as if they had hopes to see his hooded image.

Clint glare, "Well go ahead and explain, oh voice."

"Well my dear Hawkeye, I am the Narrator and this world is the set for my next story! You, and your friends are to play parts in my story. Or face my powers."

"Play our parts?"

"Yes. In fact, you have already play a part before."

At Clint's confused face, Steve quickly explained to the other avengers the events of the last story.

"You turned us into CHILDREN?" Peter cried, "Why?"

"For fun of course. Why else?"

Natasha frowned, twisting her body away from Steve, "Can you explain why Cap suddenly smells so good? And why I have the urge to bite him?"

Steve took a step back at that announcement, and Chekhov puffed out his leaves.

"Don't you dare!"

The Narrator's voice seem to smile evilly as it answered Natasha, "Why you guys are vampires of course. And what you are smelling is the Cap's blood."

Everyone froze in shock, and Chekhov seemed to puff out even more, as if protecting Steve. The Narrator wasn't finished of course, and Tony wasn't surprised at all by his next announcement.

"The story you must all play part in this world..is 'Twilight'. I hope you enjoy it."

With that the avengers were left with the knowledge that were stuck playing parts in a teen romance story.

Thor was just confused, as was Steve, but it was Thor who asked, "What is this 'Twilight'?"

"One of the worst novels ever written." Tony snarled.

"Never mind that right now..because if you guys haven't noticed..we all started to close in on Steve." Bruce spoke up.

He was right, as the whole group had moved closer to Steve. Who looked both worried about their behavior and scared.

Tony, with more control that he thought he had, walked back a bit from him. Peter was the first to point out the problem.

"So what are we going to do? How can we 'play our parts' and get out this world..if we all are fighting off the urge to attack Cap?"

Steve, putting on his leader mask finally spoke up, "If it is that bad I can give each of you a drop of my blood to take off the edge."

All at once they quickly shot that down, "NO NO NO. Steve its okay, we'll just need to control ourselves." Tony shook his head, the thought of drinking from Steve. Hurting him in such a way, no he wouldn't let himself(or anyone else) fall that far.

As the others nodded in agreement, Peter noticed Loki, "Ummm guys why is Loki here?"

Tony sighed, "It's a long story but Loki here is a avenger now."

"Welcome to the gang bro." Peter said, raising one hand, waiting for Loki to high five it. Loki just shot him a glare.

"Never mind..maybe next time."

So the avengers went off, as a team. Each of them controlling their vampire urges. Each of them hoping that they could hold out.

That plan went down the drain, when a hour later they were attacked by wolves. But for now. Things were well.

End of Chapter Nine~!


	10. In which shirts are so last chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Werewolves have arrived, and apparently they hate shirts. Who will come up on top in this battle? And will Steve(now just a normal human) be safe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes. This is where the love triangle starts. I have so much planned for this triangle, and yes Chekhov/Steve/Tony is the Edward/Bella/Jacob of this story.  
> Yes I made Tony play the part of Edward. Yes he is going to kill me. Can someone be really nice and hide me?

Chekhov may just be a potted plant, but even he could feel the tension in the air. He waved his leaves in worry. Hoping that none of the, now vampire, avengers would lose control and attack Steve. He looked up at Steve, who was holding him close to his chest.

"You alright up there big guy?" Steve did a double take, like he had forgotten for a moment that Chekhov could actually speak, before answering him.

"I'm fine, I'm just worried about the others." He looked back up, to stare sadly at the backs of his friends. "I wish they would like me help them."

Chekhov puffed up his leaves, "Cap no, you can't. If you let them even have one drop of your blood they will go insane with blood lust and drink you dry. Have you not seen vampire movies?"

Steve frowned, "Tony made me watch Dracula once. I suppose your right. It doesn't me I have to be happy about it. I hate that I can't do anything."

As the two were talking, the other avengers stayed silence. Focusing on controlling their blood lust. Tony was having it the hardest, as Steve's blood was calling for him. Crying out for his fangs. He ignored the urge, digging his fangs into his lip.

'No. I wont give in. I will not hurt Steve.'

The silence was finally broken by the sound of a wolf's howl. The avengers quickly got into battle positions. Quickly making a circle around Steve, to protect him.

Then from the trees came a pack of wolves. They were large, almost the size of mini vans. Their fur was brown and patched with red spots. Their fangs peeking out of their mouths, and their eyes pinched in anger.

The largest one, with a scare over one eye, took a step forward. Then before their eyes transformed.

"FURY?!" Tony grasped. As the large wolf turned into a shirtless Fury. You didn't look at all happy to see them.

"Hello Stark."

"Sir what are you doing here?" Steve asked, taking a step forward, only to pushed behind Tony's back. "Tony what are you doing?"

"Sorry..its just..I really don't want you stepping out of this circle for the moment okay?"

Steve stared at him in confusion but decided to trust Tony for the moment and stepped back, pressing Chekhov closer to his chest.

Fury just raised a single eyebrow at Tony's actions, "Well I was taking out of my office by some guy in a hooded figure, called himself the Narrator or some shit. Next thing I know I'm a werewolf." He looked at the avengers and did a double take when he saw Loki, "Can someone please explain to me why Loki is with you?"

"It's a long story." Tony answered. "But trust me, he's on the good side now."

Loki smiled and waved, "Yup, totally good."

Fury just glared at him. Clint decided to voice a question that had popped in his head as soon as he saw him transform.

"Where does your eye patch go when you turn into a wolf?"

Everyone stared at him, "What it's a good question!"

The Narrator spoke up, "MAGIC."

"But.."

"DON'T QUESTION ME."

Clint just pouted. The Narrator signed and continued, "Now then. I shall you guys to fight now."

"Why would we fight our shield founder?" Thor asked.

The Narrator rolled his invisible eyes, "Because right now he's a werewolf and you guys are vampires. And as everyone knows vampires and werewolves don't get along. Its like the rule of supernatural stories!"

Tony stared at the gang of growling wolves, "I don't think I want to try fighting these guys..they look like they could eat a whole city and still be hungry after."

"Have you guys not learned by now? This is my world and you have to do what I say!" The Narrator whined.

Natasha rolled here eyes, "Fine. We shall fight."

With that announcement the battle started. The avengers(And Fury) made sure to keep their attacks weak as not to badly harm. When Steve went to go fight, he was stopped by both Tony's hand and by a invisible hand.

"No way Steve. Your just a normal guy right now. These are large super powered werewolves. Let us handle it okay."

Steve went to say something, but Tony was already gone. Leaping up from the ground and bitting down on the neck of the nearest(non-Fury) werewolf.

Steve frowned, hating the feeling of being useless. Chekhov coughed, "So want to play a game to pass the time or...?"

Before Steve could answer, one of the wolves broke away from Wolverine and raced over towards Steve. Before anyone could react in time the wolf tackled Steve to the ground. Sending Chekhov though the air.

"STEVE!" Tony screamed, and tried to get to him but was stopped by one of the other wolves.

Bruce tired going Hulk but found himself unable to. Loki tired magic but was unable to. Everyone was useless, and watch in horror as the wolf slowly lowered its head and then...

Licked Steve's face.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Clint shouted, Tony could only again. Though he was mainly happy that the werewolf didn't seem about to eat Steve's pretty face.

"What is going on?" Peter asked, "Why is that wolf licking Steve's face?"

The Narrator started to laugh.

"What in the world are you laughing about?" Tony asked, while punching the werewolf he was fighting the jaw.

"Well I decided since we have a Edward..how about a Jacob?"

"What?!" Tony asked, deeply confused. Though a realization was slowly coming to mind.

The wolf licking Steve started to transform. Then in a blink of a eye was a young shirtless man. He had green eyes and brown hair; and seemed fascinated by his own hands. As he kept staring at them.

"What is with you guys and shirts? Are all werewolves allergic to shirts?!" Peter asked. Before defeating his own werewolf. Slowly the battle ended and the avengers quickly ran back to Steve.

"GET OFF HIM." Tony gowned, as he took a hold of the unnamed werewolf and threw him backwards and away from Steve's fallen form. He turned his attention back to Steve, 'Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Tony but Chekhov..." Steve jumped up and ran up to the potted plant. Only to find that the plant was dead.

"No Chekhov.." Steve cried, as he picked up the plant.

The unnamed werewolf smiled, "Don't cry Cap am okay."

The group all snapped their heads around to stare at the werewolf. Who smiled at them back.

" Chekhov?" Loki whispered. Staring at the werewolf.

Chekhov smiled right back, "Hi. It seems I'm a human now. Well kind of."

The Narrator just started to laugh again. For now the story was about to get really interesting.

'Now then who will win the heart of the great Captain? Tony or Chekhov. Only time will tell.' The Narrator smirked. Oh this was so much fun.

End of Chapter Ten~!


	11. In which the almighty Doom makes his appearance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I, THE ALMIGHTY DOOM, HAVE DECIDED TO MAKE HIS APPEARANCE IN THIS FANFICTION. I, DOOM, SHALL DESTROY THE AVENGERS. IF IT IS THE LAST THING I DO.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this chapter you guys are all caught up. I'm writing the next chapter now.   
>  Always I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter...I'm really proud of it.

 

   The Narrator wasn't stupid, he knew that having a love rival was not enough to make for good drama. He needed some villains, preferably ones that wouldn't turn against him and were easy to manipulate.

With that thought in mind, the Narrator appeared in the room of one of the avengers most colourful of villains.

Victor Von Doom slept, unaware that he now had a visitor, though not for long as the Narrator pulled out a alarm clock(from, it seemed, nowhere) and turned it on.

'BRINNNGGGG BRINGGGGG." The alarm screamed, and Doom was send flying from his slumber.

Raising up from his bed, some how getting across his rage without the need for facial expressions, and roared.

"WHO DARES DISTURB MY SLUMBER?!"

The Narrator turned off the alarm clock before answering, "Good morning Mister Doom, I am the Narrator and I wish to ask for your assistance."

Doom glared up at the ceiling, not at all phrased that he was talking to a unseen force, "THE GREAT DOOM DOES NOT ASSIST."

The Narrator laughed, already imaging what Doom's reaction to the news would be, "Oh I think you will want to assist me when you found out what I've done to the avengers."

That seemed to get Doom's attention, as he jumped from his bed, his cape swinging behind him.

"THE AVENGERS?!"

"Yes, the avengers. At this moment are trapped in a world of my design and I came to you because I needed some help destroying them. I'm sure a great villain like yourself will be a great help in destroying the avengers once and for all." The Narrator spoke, making sure to make his voice sound as amazed by Doom's presents as possible, "There is no one else I can turn to but you. No one else is a great a foe then you."

Doom smirked, taken a battle ready pose(though the nightie really ruined the effect he was going for), "WELL WHO I'M I TO TURN SHOULD A CHANGE DOWN. HAVE MY WORD DEAR NARRATOR, BY DAYS END I WILL HAVE DESTROY THOSE AVENGERS ONCE AND FOR ALL!"

The Narrator, already regretting coming to Doom, spoke up, "I can't explain in words how thankful I am Doom! Now then..." With that the Narrator lost the fanboy tone of voice and let out his inner glee, "Have fun! Make sure to mess with the avengers! Bye bye."

Then with a popping sound the great almighty Doom was send falling into a black hole that had suddenly appeared under his feet.

Now that he had his villain, the Narrator returned to his world to check on his favourite play things.

Meanwhile, in the middle of the woods, the great almighty Doom fell from the sky. With a thud he landed. Shaking his head, and the rest of his body parts to insure that nothing had broken, he slowly stood up.

"NARRATOR WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" He roared at the heavens. Shaking a fist at the unresponsive sky. It was then that he noticed that his nightie had vanished leaving Doom in just his cape. And only his cape.

The Narrator would like to say sorry for this, but seeing as he/she/it had no problem putting Thor in a dress, he really wouldn't be.

"WHAT IS THERE TO BE SORRY FOR?! YOU PEASANTS SHOULD BE HAPPY TO BE GRACED WITH THE BEAUTIFUL BODY OF VICTOR VON DOOM."

After that odd shout, Doom went on his way, searching for the avengers.

The Narrator had already found them, and he found them all standing around Chekhov. Staring at him like he had two heads.

"What...how...?" Clint asked, poking Chekhov's arm, "Weren't you a potted plant only like five seconds ago?"

Chekhov, looking a bit out of it, ran his new hands over his new muscle bound body, "I was but now I appear to be a human. Well werewolf..." He turned then, taking a hold of Steve's arm.

"Cap, this is amazing! I'm human...kind of." Chekhov said, happiness leaking out of him in waves.

Steve smiled back, also leaking out waves of happiness, "I'm happy for you Chekhov." He petted Chekhov arm. Unaware of the waves of jealous rage coming from Tony. Though everyone else had noticed it and taken a couple steps back.

Fury, who had transformed back into his wonderful shirtless self, coughed to get everyone's attention, "Well then, putting the fact that a potted pant just became a human being aside for the moment, it appears that we are no longer expected to fight."

Bruce nodded in agreement, "I say your right. The Narrator hasn't shown up to tell us to get back at it...so I guess we are free to go."

Natasha snorted in disgust, "Well that was pointless. It wasn't even a good fight, what kind of vampire story is this?"

Clint shrugged, "One where more talking happens then actually fights."

"That's just boring." Natasha growled, and walked off. Getting odd looks from everyone.

"Its like she enjoy the thought of getting her face ripped off by angry werewolves." Tony whispered, as if scared that Natasha would hear him.

Clint just smiled, clearly love struck, "Yeah...isn't she great?"

Tony stared at him, but said nothing. As he had no right to judge Clint's interests, hell he was in love with a walking American flag.

So the group started walking, though Peter was smart enough to ask this time, "Um guys where are we going?"

The group stopped, clearly from their faces that the thought had not accrued to them.

"Maybe we should look for a house or something. Someplace we can drop Steve off, so he'll be safe." Tony piped up. Feeling the glare from Steve. He could just sensed the argument that would most likely irrupted from that statement,

"Wait a second, I'm not leaving you guys..." Steve started, making a movement to walk up to Tony, with anger clearly itched in ever part of his face.

Tony turned to face him, "Steve..." he didn't get to finish his sentence, because a very familiar voice spoke up.

"Hello! Do you guys miss me?" The Narrator asked cheerfully, ignoring the waves of glares shot up at the sky, "Just thought I give you guys a heads up...You see I go..."

Sadly that sentence would also go unfinished as Doom had finally reached the avengers.

"GREETING AVENGERS. I VICTOR VON DOOM HAVE ARRIVED TO DESTROY YOU!"

The others weren't listening to him as they were all screaming and covering their eyes(yes even Fury).

"Ah. Doom, finally decide to make your appear..."

Doom laughed loudly, drowning the Narrator's voice out, "SCREAM ALL YOU WANT BUT THERE WILL BE NO ESCAPE FOR YOU THIS TIME!"

"For the love of all things holy...PUT ON SOME PANTS!" Tony chocked out, fighting back the urge to throw up everything he had ever eaten in his life.

Thankfully it was at this point that Loki finally waved his hand, using the little bit of magic this

world allowed him to use, to give Doom pants.

"Loki, have I ever told you how much I love you." Peter said, clearly received to see Doom wearing pants.

"No, but I could stand to hear it more." Loki answered, sending a pointed look Thor's way. Who only looked confused back.

"HAHAHA NOW PREPARE YOURSELVES AVE...!"

The Narrator quickly jumped in, "Excuse me, but I am the main villain of this piece! Now then...avengers I hope your ready because things are about to get real awesome! VAMPIRE FIGHT!"

With that, and a loud popping sound, a large group of vampires appeared.

Doom was not happy.

"NO ONE TAKES THE SPOTLIGHT FROM VICTOR VON DOOM!" He roared in anger, before running towards the avengers, his new vampire claws at the ready. "I WILL KILL YOU ALL!"

"Now this is more like it!" Natasha cried happily, kicking a near by vampire in the jaw.

"Have I ever said how much I love you." Clint yelled back at her, as he punched a vampire in the chest.

"You could stand to say it more."

Tony and Chekhov quickly jumped to guard Steve, working together to keep the vampires at bay.

"There is to many of them!" Peter cried out, jumping out of the way of a angry vampire's path. "We need some help."

"Help is on its way!" Clint yelled out, before jumping over a vampire and landing next to Bruce. "Hey Bruce, I think now is a good time for the big green guy."

"I think your right." Bruce said with a smile, then he started to transform.

"Wait, if he transforms now...wont Hulk also be a vampire?" Peter asked, then blinked, "I don't think we are needed anymore guys."

Wolverine seemed to agree, as he just sat on a near by bolder and watched the Hulk appear.

"If I were you guys...I'll run." He said happily to the vampires.

The Hulk let a roar, his new fangs shining.

Doom stared up at him, "OH SH..."

End of Chapter Eleven~!


	12. In which the fourth wall is complete destroyed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle has been won, but now our beloved avengers face a even greater threat...HUNGER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let’s take a moment of silence and remember the fourth wall. *takes a moment* Okay, moving on! I really hope you guys like this chapter, as it is the most cracktastic thing I have written so far. I specially like the old lady.   
>  By the way, the twilight arc is almost over. The next chapter will be the last one...and here’s a little spoiler. One of our couples gets together! Who will be it be? You have to wait until the next chapter to find out.

    To say that the Hulk had defeated the armies of evil vampires would be a bit of a over statement.

The remains of the army were scattered around the field, heads were resting in bird's nest and a toe had somehow found its way across the field and in a old lady's pie. Her screams the only sound, for the avengers(plus Fury and Chekhov) were to busy standing around in shock at what they had just witnessed.

The almighty Doom, who had only survived the Hulk rage because he was a series regular, was the only one left standing. He stared up at the smiling face of the Hulk, he stuttered out, "EVEN THOUGH, I THE ALMIGHTY DOOM, COULD EASILY DESTROY YOU...DOOM HAS OTHER IMPORTANT BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO. NOW IF YOU EXCUSE ME..." The almighty Doom then ran off. Leaving a trail of white smoke behind him.

The Narrator just snorted, "Wimp." He/She/It then turn his/her/it's attention to the avengers who were finally coming out of their states of shock.

Clint was the first to speak, "That...that was amazing big guy!" He cried out in amazement, running up to the Hulk's side to slap his arm.

The Hulk just turned to smile at his friend, "Thanks. Hulk enjoyed killing the vampires..." His smile then fell from his face, as his stomach let out a large growl, "But now Hulk hungry."

It was at this statement that everything got tense. As the vampires of the group realized that they too were hungry. Horror came then, when the smell of Steve's blood came to their noses. Fury, Chekhov, and the rest of the werewolves acted quickly, surrounding Steve in about a second.

The Hulk roared then, sounding very frustrated, "Hulk hungry. But Hulk does not want to hurt captain!"

Tony could nod, "Neither do we buddy, we need to find something to drink and fast." His own frustration clear his tone. His whole body was tensed from holding himself back.

He didn't have to say it twice, as Natasha and Clint quickly ran off to look for animals. The other vampires followed after them. All but Tony, who was still frozen.

Steve noticed this, and attempted to walk around the werewolves but was stopped by Chekhov.

"What do you think your doing?" Chekhov asked, pulling Steve closer to himself. His fear controlling his harsh movements. "If go out there now Tony will hurt you."

Steve glared at the formal plant, "Tony would never hurt me. So could please let me go? Can't you see that something is wrong with Tony?!" He said, pointing over to Tony's frozen form.

Chekhov had noticed, and made him want Steve by his side more. Who knew what Tony could do to Steve right now, hungry as he was. So he just held onto Steve harder, and turned his head to nod at Fury. Who nodded back, before leaving the protective circle and walking up to Tony.

"Stark. You doing okay there?" Fury asked, keeping his voice low and comforting, like he was talking down a wild animal.

Tony laughed, a low and broken sound, "What do you think Fury? Does it look like I'm enjoying myself?" He growled then, as his fangs grew in his mouth, "Fury...promise me. Protect Steve. Don't let me near him no matter what I say...okay?"

Fury could only nod before Tony lost it, jumping over the werewolves's head and racing towards Steve.

The werewolves acted quickly gathering closer together to protect Steve from harm. Chekhov, moving quickly placed the shocked Steve behind him.

"Steve, baby let me have just one drink...I'm so hungry baby...and you smell so good." Tony moaned, lashing out at the werewolves with his new vampire claws. "Oh please Steve...I'm so hungry..."

Steve, hearing the pain and hunger in Tony's voice, went to go to him but was stopped by Chekhov's hand. Which was still holding his arm.

"Chekhov let me go." Steve said, putting on his best I-am-Captain-America voice, "Right now."

Chekhov stared at him like he was insane, "What...NO. I know you want to help him but in the state he is in now he could kill you!"

Steve just glared at him, "I told you Tony would never hurt me Chekhov. Also I'm not completely helpless. I could fight him off if things went to far you know."

Chekhov just held onto Steve's arm harder, which served to piss Steve off.

You think pissing off Bruce Banner was a bad idea. A angry Hulk was one thing. A angry Captain America was another.

This was the man that had punched Hitler in the face.

Before Chekhov could even blink Steve was throwing him over his shoulder.

"Sorry Chekhov but Tony needs me." Steve said calmly, as Chekhov hit the ground with a resounding thud.

With that, Steve ran off, jumping over the other werewolves and punching one in the face. Fury seeing this, went to stop him. Only to end up like Chekhov, as Steve lifted Fury muscled body over his head like he was made op tissue paper and threw him across the field.

"SORRY!" Steve cried out after him, as Fury landed next to the old lady.

The old lady stared at him. Fury smiled, "Hello there. Sorry for dropping in, I be on my way now." With that Fury ran off, hoping he could get back to the group in time before Steve did anything stupid.

The old lady watched him go, holding her toe pie close to her chest, "And my daughter wonders why I don't go outside...this is the second time this week something like this has happened."

Meanwhile, back at the plot, Steve had finally gotten to Tony. Who tackled him in pure joy.

Steve placed one arm around Tony's waist, "Go ahead Tony. Take a drink."

It was then that Tony came back to his senses. Yeah, he has great timing.

"No...Steve let me go. I'll hurt you." Tony cried, trying as hard as he could to stop himself from biting into Steve's neck.

Steve laughed, "You wont hurt me Tony." He pointed at the knocked out werewolves, "This may be a twilight world but I am no weak Bella and you are not Edward..."

The Narrator and Tony at the exact same time cried out in amazement, "You read Twilight?!"

Steve flushed, "I was bored and it was just sitting there on the table. I thought I give it a try. Trust me I regret it." Steve finished that sentence with pure disgust in his voice, "That book was a waste of trees."

Tony could only stare at him with a open mouth.

Steve sighed, clearly getting annoyed, "Would you bite me already? Come on you're a vampire! Vampire's drink blood!" He then changed tuned, a sad look coming across his face, "If you don't...you'll die Tony."

Steve put his other arm around Tony, bringing Tony closer to him, "I don't want you to die Tony. So please..." He whispered sadly, placing his neck to Tony's teeth., "Please..."

Tony could no longer fight it, he bite down

And so the lion fell in love with the lamb, but then the lion got hungry and the lamb let him eat his left leg. Cause you only need one good leg right?

"That...was a horrible, and out of place metaphor." The Narrator groaned at the author.

The author just smiled.

So Tony drank from Steve.

And the Narrator started planning for his next world...

End of Chapter Twelve~!


	13. In which one of our want-to-be-lovers gets together(FINALLY)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twilight arc comes to a end, and sees one of our couples finally admitting their feelings and start making out...over a dead wolf. Cause one of our boys is a kinky as all get out. But that's either here or there. What world awaits our heroes now? And will Steve be okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer’s Note: Okay, first thing: I’m so sorry for this late update but school happened. I had paper...after paper...after paper...after(guess) paper. Thankfully I only have one more of those things to write, so I decided to take a break and update this fanfic of mine.  
> To be honest I don’t know what to think of this chapter, some parts came out really well and others feel forced. Oh well. All in all I like how the twilight arc ended. As the ended of this arc sets up a lot of stuff that will become important in later chapters. Yes my friends...the first hints of PLOT happen here. I know...it scares me too.
> 
> Another Note: This chapter makes fun of Loki fangirls. Now let me get this across I have no problem with Loki fangirls. I just getting a bit tired of all the “Loki is the best avenger”(HE ISN’T EVEN A BLOODY AVENGER) on Tumblr. Seriously if I see one more, “BUT HE’S JUST MISUNDERSTOOD.” I will throw my computer out a window.
> 
> Warnings: The usually crackyness. A lot with one of our two homosexual boys finally making out. Joy is had by all, but mostly me. Also twilight bashing. So if you like Twilight...may not be a good idea to read this chapter...just saying. Also trigger warning, wolves die in this chapter. There is talk of blood and jumping off cliffs. So yeah, this chapter gets into some stuff...be warned.

  Finding deer was a lot harder than the avengers had thought it would be. As Tony drank from Steve, the other avengers(plus Loki) searched the woods for some deer but had yet to find any. In fact it was starting to get annoying.  
“For the love of god, where the hell are the deer? I’m staving over here!” Clint moaned, swinging his head back and hitting Hulk’s cheek.  
The hulk growled his agreement, petting his stomach with his right hand. “Hulk is so hungry...”  
Natasha, who had up to this point been staring at Clint with a ‘Why-are-you-riding-the-hulk’s-shoulder-when-you-have-two-working-legs’ look, turned her attention to the hulk.  
“Don’t worry, they have to be here somewhere and if not we can drink from another creature.”  
Clint glared down at her, “Not to rain on your parade there Nat but if you haven’t noticed...we been in these woods for hours and we haven’t seen ONE animal.”  
The others all looked at each other in realization, Clint was right. So far all they had seen were trees and then more trees. Their were no signs of live in the woods besides from them.

  
It was then that the smell of blood came on the horizon, and the avengers(plus Loki) froze.

  
Clint was the first to speak, “Oh god is that blood?!” He moaned, and with that he was jumping of the hulk’s shoulder and running in the direction of the smell.  
“Cupid wait for Hulk!” The Hulk cried out, taking off after Clint. The other quickly followed after.  
A little old lady, on her way back to her home caught a site of them and nearly did a double take. For before her eyes a group of grown ass men and women were running like mad men. Their tongues rolling out of their mouths and their eyes as wide as saucers.  
Looking down at her toe pie, the old lady mumbled to herself, “I knew I shouldn’t have left the house today...but no ‘I need my pie nanny!’ ‘can’t go get my self nanny’...’‘I have to do my nails nanny!’...” She continued to mumble to herself as she turned and walked away.  
Back with our main characters, they had finally found food in the form of a pack of wolves. Not werewolves but normal everyday wolves. The blood they had smelled had came from a deer that the wolves had been eating when they were set abound by hungry vampires.  
Note: killing someone when their eating is way rude. At least wait til they have finished for god’s shake.  
But no, the avengers attack and killed them.  
As the gang drank(the hulk had turned back to Bruce at this point, because really no one else would get any blood if Hulk was in control doing the feeding), Loki could be see staring at Thor. This in its self was not surprising, as Loki could found staring at Thor 99 percent of any day. The one percent of days, he was busy being locked in some prison having venom being dripped in his eyes. Good times. Anyway this time was different because Loki was looking at Thor with love in his eyes. Even though blood was dripping down Thor’s face.  
Now it can be said that Loki is a kinky guy, in fact the Narrator feels that to go into detail about this will raise the rating to high, so I wont go into details. Anyway the site of Thor covered in blood was hot for Loki, as he was at this point pretty much drooling over him.  
Now Thor may be oblivious, but even he could sense that he was being stared at, and so he looked up at Loki.  
“What is wrong brother? Is your wolf not to your liking?” Thor asked worryingly, raising one blood stain hand to touch his brother’s.  
Loki stared down at their hands, for a moment, before looking into Thor’s beautiful blue eyes and saying, “Its fine, I was just distracted by how beautiful you are.”  
A ‘awww’ could be heard coming from somewhere, most likely from the herd of fangirls that followed Loki where ever he went, as Thor turned a bright red.  
“Well...thank you brother. You are beautiful as well!” He said happily, unaware that he had just made Loki’s day.  
Watching the two of them was Clint, who was looking more sicken by them by the second. At Thor’s words he could take it no longer. He let his wolf fall from his mouth and stood facing the two.  
“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOULD YOU TWO JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY?! THIS IS JUST GETTING TIRING!” Clint yelled.  
Loki turned a bright red, and Thor just blinked at him, “Friend Clint...I do not understand...”  
“Do you want me to spell out to you? Loki LIKES you. Now could please make out, before the tension kills us all...god. We already have to deal with Steve and Tony all the time! I don’t want to deal with you two guys as well!” Clint said angrily, before sitting back down and digging into his wolf.  
Loki and Thor sat there, looking shocked at Clint’s out burst. Before turning back to each other.  
Thor was the first to speak, “Brother...is what my friend Clint says true? Do you like me?” He said shyly, as some teen pop artist started singing in the background.

  
Peter looked up his wolf, “Where in the world is that music coming from? And what does teen pop have to do with vampires?’  
“Shhh!” Natasha, jumped up and put her hand over Peter’s mouth, “Thor and Loki are about to get together. Trust me this is a big deal...so be quiet.” She whispered , focusing her attention on the two gods.  
She wasn’t the only one, all the avengers were watching them as well as the Narrator. Who watched from above...  
Loki’s fangirls waiting in horror, for they knew when Loki got with Thor...they themselves could never have him. The horror that they would never get a chance to fix him and stroke his cheek bones!

  
After what seemed like years, but in reality only a couple seconds, Loki answered his brother, “Yes Thor. I’m in love with you and I have been for a very long time.”  
Everything fell into silence. No one dared to even breathe as they all waiting for Thor’s response.  
It was then that the Narrator decided to switch attention over to Steve and Tony. Cause he is evil and enjoys teasing his readers.

  
  Tony was still drinking from Steve, his arms wrapped around Steve’s body holding him close to him. If he had been in the right mind he would have enjoyed the fact that he finally had Steve in his arms but at the moment the sweet blood all he cared about.  
Chekhov, finally moved, as he been froze in shock since the moment Steve threw him, and rushed up to Tony and Steve. He quickly pulled Tony off Steve and set him flying over his shoulder. Catching Steve as he fell over from the blood lost.

  
 Tony growled, “Take your hands off Steve!” He ran at Chekhov determined to rip his stupid little werewolf head off when Fury stepped in the way and punched him inn the face.  
Tony went down hard, “What the hell Fury?”  
Fury one eye glared at him, “Snap out of it Stark...or I will be force to use more force.”  
Tony looked confused for a second, until finally he came back to his senses. The smell of blood was still in the air, but it no longer attracted him. In stead it filled him with horror, as he turn to look at Steve. Who at the moment was freakishly pale and fighting to stay awake.  
“Oh god what have I done?” Tony cried, the taste of Steve’s blood still on his lips.  
“I’ll tell you what you did!” Chekhov cried out angrily, holding Steve close to himself, “You drank too much! If I hadn’t step in you would have killed him!”  
Horror, and self hate filled Tony’s mind. He had actually almost taken Steve’s life. He was a monster, a horrible monster.  
With wide eyes, and guilt in his heart, Tony ran off.  
Steve, gripping Chekhov’s arm for strength, cried out after him, “Wait Tony!”. He coughed, and tried to stand. “Tony come back! I’m fine!”  
Chekhov just held him tighter, “You are not fine!” He ran a hand though Steve’s hair, “You lost a lot of blood...you need to rest.”  
Steve moaned, still trying to stand, “But Tony...”  
Chekhov took a breath, trying to keep his jealously under control, “I will go get him..”  
Steve smiled weakly up at him, “Thank you.”  
Chekhov nodded, before handing over Steve to Fury, who had joined the two of them on the ground.  
“Take care of him.”  
“I will.”  
So with that Chekhov went after Tony, hoping that the idiot hadn’t done anything to himself or Steve would never forgive him...

  
Meanwhile back with your love stricken gods...

  
Thor was speechless, something that no one thought could be possible, as he stared at Loki. The pop singer was now getting louder, that the trees themselves seemed to shake by the music force. In fact it was so loud that no one heard or saw Tony run by.  
Finally Thor opened his mouth, “I...Loki...I”  
Everyone leaded in. The Narrator focused down on them and waiting. This is what he been waiting for. Yes, his plan was to get Steve and Tony together...as they were his one true pairing but he wanted the gods together as well.

  
Yes you read right, the Narrator. The greatest enemy the avengers have ever fought is a shipper.

  
Thor blushed, “Loki.” He looked Loki straight in the eye, determined to say what he wanted to say, “I love you too.”  
It was then that the heavens sang in glee(or the pop singer had hit a note way to high). The Loki fangirl cried, as they lost their chance with Loki forever and the avengers smiled. For they, being Thor’s friends, knew of his feelings from the get go.  
To say Loki was in shock would be putting it mildly. He had never dreamed in his millions of years that Thor would love him back. (Though how he still thinks this when he knows he is Thor’s true love is beyond me).  
After the shock passed, Loki smiled. A true smile, one that happened ever once a million years. It shined with love and happiness. He reached out over the dead wolf and took Thor’s face in his hands. In a quick movement he leaded over and kisses Thor’s lips.  
Time seemed to slow down, as the two kissed. Uncaring that blood was dripping from Thor’s beard and that a wolf ghost was glaring at them both. They were happy and in love.  
Naturally the Narrator, being a asshole along with a shipper, decided that now was the time to mention Tony.

  
“Not to ruin the moment but you may want to go to the cliff just outside the trees over there...”  
Clint turned away from the gods kiss, “And why would we want to do that?”  
“Cause Tony is about to jump off it.”

  
Sure enough Tony stood at the end of the cliff, staring down into the dark waters below. ‘I wonder...how far up is this cliff?’ He turned his head to the right, taking notice of a illusion of Steve that stood there. “Ah, it appears my guilt has finally decided to speak up.”  
Illusion Steve just stared at him.  
“Aren’t you suppose to be telling me how much of a monster I am and how I deserve to die for hurting you? Cause got to say that is what I’m thinking right now...”  
Illusion Steve shook his head, “No Tony, you are not a monster. I was the one that gave you permission to drink from me. So you went to far, it was accident and I’m fine. So please turn around and come back to me.”  
Tony narrowed his eyes, “For a spirit of my guilt your not doing a good job bringing on the guilt.”  
Illusion Steve smiled, “Cause you know deep down that the real Steve Rogers would never want you to blame yourself. Its okay Tony, I’m okay. So please step away from the cliff...” Illusion Steve stopped then, before lowering his voice(sounding almost like he was in tears), “Please...I don’t want you to die.”  
Tony took a step back from the cliff, wait a second...why had he come to this cliff? Usually he would just drink his body weight in beer or punish himself with self hate, he was never planned or tried jumping off cliffs. Mainly because cause jumping off cliffs were for . So what gives?

  
“Well its because we haven’t had a reference to the original Twilight in a awhile...so I decided to bring in the cliff scene.”

  
Tony glared up at the sky, feeling so angry he might just turn into the hulk, “So I’m Bella now? And why this scene? What is so great about a scene where we learn how man needing Bella is?”  
The Narrator raised his invisible shoulders, “I don’t know but for some reason this is the scene everyone talks about...”  
“Because its horrible!”  
Before Tony could get any more angry at the asshole for making take part in one of the stupidest scene in literature history, he heard noises.

  
“TONY. IF YOUR THROWING YOUR SELF HAVE A CLIFF RIGHT NOW...I WILL PERSONALLY BRING YOU BACK TO LIVE AND KICK YOUR ASS.” Natasha roared, as he came out running from the trees.  
Tony took two whole steps back from the cliff’s edge, “Um hi Nat. As you can see...no cliff jumping going on here.”  
Natasha went up to him and hit him, “You idiot what were you thinking?!”  
Before Tony could open his mouth and defend himself...

  
“STARK! There you are!” Chekhov yelled out, also stepping out of the woods. Still shirtless and looking a bit put out. “I’m come after you to say I’m sorry...I was to hard on you back there...and are Thor and Loki making out?”  
Tony took a look, yup they were. It seems upon seeing that Tony was fine, the two had gone back to kissing.  
“So I’m guessing Loki finally make a move?”  
Natasha glared at him, “Don’t think you can change the topic...what were you thinking Tony and where is Steve?’  
Before Tony could answer...again he was interrupted. He was so going to make it against the law to interrupt him when he got back home...

  
“Well both of those questions will be answered...don’t you think we could do with a different setting?” The Narrator said. At the end of his words the world seemed to fade around them and the avengers felt there vampire powers fade.

  
“Where are you taking us this time Narrator?!” Tony growled, looking around for Steve. Hoping against all hope that the Narrator would send him to the same world. Tony needed to make sure Steve was okay...

  
The Narrator smirked, as a very familiar song started to play then. A song, with no lyrics. Well known to basically every child and young adult.  
“That song...” Peter whispered, amazed, “I know that song...it can’t be are we actually going to...”  
With a pop they starting falling and the Narrator let out one last sentence before darkness took them...

  
“Welcome my friends to a world of magic...”

End of Chapter 13~!

 


	14. In which the narrator is a Albus Dumbledore fanboy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers, and friends, have left behind the world of Twilight. What awaits them now is a place of magic, a place that many would call home. I believe its called Hogwarts...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer’s Note: Guess what? I’m out on Christmas break! So expect updates to be posted more often. In fact, we are nearing the end of this epic. Here’s hoping that you guys like this arc as much as the last!
> 
> Another Note: Unlike the other worlds the avengers have been to, actual canon characters from Harry Potter will appear and have a part to play in the plot. So yes, you guys get to see the avengers hanging out with Harry and his friends! Aren’t I just the best?
> 
> Warnings: As always this is a crack story. If that isn’t your cup of earl gray…then I have no idea why you even clicked on this story. As this thing is so cracky that it even amazes me. Also the characters may out a little out of character, which I am sorry for.

   The fall season was slowly beginning, and so the school year was just around the corner. Albus Percival Wulfric Brain Dumbledore, the headmaster of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and Wizardry, was doing his preparations.  
The day had been pretty normal, well as normal as life can be at Hogwarts, and Albus Dumbledore found himself waiting for something to happen. Ever since the morning, he had this feeling that something was about to happen, and seeing how he was the most powerful wizard in the world his feelings were usually right. The others had noticed Dumbledore’s odd stern behavior, and were all prepared for the worst. Cause if Albus Dumbledore had a stern face on that meant something was going to happen. The only one that wasn’t worried was Severus Snape, the potions professor and Albus Dumbledore’s favourite. Something that everyone and just excepted as a part of Dumbledore’s odd quirks. The reason why Severus Snape wasn’t worry that someone was going to happen was simple.  
“If I had learned anything in the last six years is that nothing every happens here that doesn’t center around Potter and his friends. Seeing as he isn’t here until September, thank god for some small mercies, we shouldn’t worry.” Snape had said, before wondering off, murmuring insults about Potter under his breath.  
The other professors could not help but agree with this statement. In the last few years every thing that had happened had been centered around Harry Potter. Which made sense, as he was the main character but that still didn’t explain Dumbledore actions. Unlike Snape, who had experience with Dumbledore’s serious side, the others were used to Dumbledore being the funny but wise headmaster. They just weren’t use to Dumbledore serious face, as they only saw it as a sigh that something bad was about to happen.  
Anyway back at Dumbledore’s office, Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk, writing something on a piece of parchment. He looked up from the parchment to stare at his empty office, like he was expecting someone. It was then that the narrator made his appearance.  
With a sudden popping noise, the narrator made his/her/it’s appearance. The narrator, in case you were wondering what she/he/it looks like, had no physical shape. He/She/It was a living shadow, twisting and changing shape at every moment. At one point he could like a man-like shape, and the next she could look like a female-like shape. If Dumbledore was surprised by the narrator’s suddenly appearance, he didn’t show it. In stead, he placed his quill down and placed his hands together.  
“Hello there, how may I help you?” Dumbledore asked, eyeing his wand(that lay by his right elbow), as he spoke.  
The narrator smiled, it was a big and goofy fan boy like smile, “First off, can I just say how much of a fan I am? I can’t believe that I am in the presents of Albus Dumbledore!” He cried happily, rushing forward to shake Dumbledore’s hand.  
Dumbledore relaxed, finally taking his eyes off his wand, “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Always happen to meet a fan, no matter their species.” He shook a part of the shadowy creature, assuming that it was the thing’s arm. “May I ask your name?”  
The narrator brought back its shadow arm, staring at it like he was never going to wash it again, “I’m the narrator and I have a favour to ask of you.”  
Dumbledore raised a single eyebrow, “Oh, what is this favour?”

  
   Meanwhile, our heroes finally stopped falling thought space and landing with a pop on the castle grounds. Not that any one of them noticed there new surroundings, as they were all to busy gathering around Chekhov, who had Steve in his arms. Steve was still not awake, and he seemed to get paler by the moment.  
As soon as they had landed Tony had ran up to Chekhov’s side, to grasp at Steve’s hand, “Steve!” He cried, raising one hand to trail it down his face. Guilt filled him then, as his eyes fell onto the holes in Steve’s neck.  
“What is going on?!” Clint asked, sitting to Chekhov’s left, “What happened to the captain?”  
Chekhov glared at Tony, “I’ll tell you what happened, Tony bite him.”  
The group grasped, and turned there attention to Tony, whose guilt was getting worst by the second. ‘If only if I had been stronger...if only I had turned Steve down...’ He gripped Steve’s hand tighter.  
Bruce opened his mouth to ask what had happened, but he stopped when he saw the look on Tony’s face. Clint, on the other hand. Had no problem with raising a arm and taking hold of Tony’s shirt.  
“Tony, what the hell? What were you thinking?!” He shook Tony, anger clear on his face. Bruce quickly moved, placing a hand on Clint’s shoulder.  
“Look, I don’t know what happened but right now that isn’t important. We need to get Steve some help.”  
Clint nodded, letting go of Tony and standing up, “Your right, but I want the story out of you later Stark.” It was then that he noticed where they were.  
“Oh my god...”  
The others all looked up then, and froze. Right there in front of them was a castle. A very familiar castle.  
“Is that, Hogwarts?!” Peter cried, his eye wide.  
The Harry Potter music started up, as suddenly the front doors of the castle opened and the one and only Albus Dumbledore made his way down the cliff to them.  
The group could only watch in pure amazement, as one of the most famous fictional characters made his way down to them, with a wide smile on his face. Finally he stood before them, his eyes shining with amusement.  
“Good evening Avengers and friends, welcome to Hogwarts.” He turned to look at Steve’s sleeping form, “The narrator has informed me about everything. Follow me, Madam Pomfrey is waiting in the hospital to take care of your friend.”  
The group couldn’t even speak, they were froze in shock, Dumbledore just smiled at them. After several minutes, Fury was the first to speak, “Well what are you waiting for show the way!” He crossed his bare arms(as he was still shirtless), and stare at Dumbledore, waiting for him to move. Dumbledore turned, and started to walk towards the castle, the smile growing on his face.  
As the group walked up to Hogwarts, looks of pure child like glee on their faces, Dumbledore allowed himself to think about his meeting with the narrator...  
  
Dumbledore stared over his hands at the narrator, “So you want me help you get Steve Rogers and Tony Stark together?”  
The narrator nodded, “Yup.”  
Dumbledore raised a eyebrow, “Your asking me to let a group of people, that have no magic...”  
“Oh I can take care of that.” The narrator cut in.  
Dumbledore continued on, “To enter my school, just so you can create a bunch of events to get Tony and Steve together?”  
“Yes?” The narrator said nervously, as he/she/it could not tell if Dumbledore was agreeing to help or about to turn him into a frog.  
Dumbledore smiled, “Okay. I’ll help.”  
The narrator couldn’t help but let his shock colour his voice, “Really you’ll help?!”  
Dumbledore nodded, “Of course! I love manipulating people! Its part of my character. Though you need to do a favour for me as well.”  
The narrator could only nod, “Sure, what do you want?”  
“Well you see, I have a deep affection for Severus Snape and...”  
  
The flashback ended, and Dumbledore found himself in the hospital. Steve was placed out on a bed, and the avengers gathered around him.  
“He is going to be okay...right?” Peter asked, staring down at Steve pale form.  
“He’ll be fine, Madam Pomfrey knows what she is doing.” Dumbledore answered him, looking around at their faces he frowned, “The narrator told me that they were two others with you. Why are they?”  
It was at that moment that the avengers, you had been focused on Steve, suddenly noticed that Thor and Loki were not with them.  
“Shit. Where is Thor and Loki?” Chekhov asked. No one could answer him.]  
Thor and Loki, in case you are wondering. Were sitting in the middle of the forbidden forest, making out. Uncaring that they were making out in one of the most dangerous places of the Harry Potter universe.  
Unknown to them they were being watched by a large spider, that was thinking of making them his evening snack. Before it could make his way down, he was stooped by a loud snapping sound.  
Blinking, the spider(named Freddy Gwen), looked behind himself. “Hello?” Freddy asked, his eight eyes looking around, “Is someone there?” No one answered.  
Shrugging its non existence shoulders, Freddy turn back to face his targets. Sadly, for him, someone was there. Someone that been waiting for awhile to make his appearance in this fanfiction.  
One Phil Coulson, stepped out of the dark.  
“I leave for one mission and you guys get in trouble. I can’t leave you guys alone for a second.” He sighed, quickly pulling out his gun and pointing it at the spider.  
“Your lucky I am such a fan favourite or the narrator would have never brought me here.” With that he shot the spider dead.  
The chapter ends, with Thor and Loki coming up for a air, and looking up to see Phil.  
Thus the avengers time in the harry potter universe began. Unknowing that soon they will be facing their greatest challenge.  
You-know-who.

End of Chapter 14~  
  



	15. In which the plot thickens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dark Lord has heard of the Narrator power, and plans to use it to change the story. Will he succeed? Meanwhile the avengers await for their leader to awaken...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's Note: You know what? I need to stop saying that I will post updates more often...cause I never do. God I'm so sorry for how late this is. Here's hoping that this chapter was worth the wait!
> 
> Another Note: Ah, this chapter. I adore this chapter. Mostly because this is the chapter where the plot of this arc finally gets rolling. Yes. This arc has a plot. I'm shocked too. Anyway, I have a question...what Hogwarts' houses would you like to see the avengers characters be shorted into?(Don't forget Fury, and Phil). Cause at this point of time, I haven't decided where to put these guys...so I need your help. Thanks.
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: Sadly I still do not own the avengers, or any of the marvel characters that appear in this fanfiction. I also don't own any of the characters from Harry Potter, the amazing J.K. Rowling owns them. The only characters I own are the narrator, chekhov, the little old lady Freddy Gwen, Renner and the death eater-in-the-front-row.

    Far from Hogwarts, in the depths of an mountain cave, sat the one and only dark lord. The dark lord was many things...crafty, intelligent, evil, and a amazing belly dancer...but he was not a patience man.  
He had been sitting on this large rock, waiting for the return of his spy for hours. His butt was getting numb and he was running out of things to talk about to his death eaters. He looked around him, at his followers, who sat on the cave floor. It had been silence for hours now, and it was getting awkward.  
The dark lord frowned, he hated awkward silences. But what else could he say? He had already told them his plan to take over the world, how harry potter was his to kill and he had even told them about the fanfiction he was writing! There was nothing else important to say.  
‘What in the world is taking that idiot so long?!’ He thought angrily to himself, whipping out his wand and pointing it at the clocked figure in the front row. If his spy did not get here quick he was going to get angry. Trust me, no one likes the dark lord when he’s angry.  
The clocked death eater in the front row, stared at his lord’s wand. Pure fear etched on his face, ‘Oh god why did I become a death eater?! I should have became a doctor like my mother wanted!’ The death eater in the front row thought to himself, regret filling his mind. He could see it, his live as a doctor. So very far away from his trigger happy lord.  
‘If I get out of this cave alive, I’m getting some polyjuice potion, and doing with my life what I should have done in the first place!’ The death eater-in-the-front-row thought to himself.  
The dark lord was, of course, aware of his followers thoughts, seeing as he was a mind reader but did not kill him. Cause at that moment his spy came running though the cave’s opening, and right beside him was Severus Snape.  
The dark lord put his wand back into his sleeve, and got up. A wide smile crawled across his face, “Severus, darling, it is so nice to see you.”  
Severus just stared at him, “It is nice to see you again as well my lor...”  
“Please darling...I thought I told you...call me Voldemort.”  
Severus’ right eyebrow twitched, “My lord, I have come to you with some news.”  
Voldemort told a step forward, lifting his hand and dragging it down Severus’ arm. “Oh?”  
Severus(who was quite use to getting hit on by old men, coughdumbledorecough), ignored Voldemort’s hand. “The narrator has arrived. It has appeared before Dumbledore.”  
There was silence at this announcement. As confusion filled the room.  
Voldemort stared at Severus, his eyes looking straight at Severus’(as this was how he could read minds), “Really? The narrator has finally shown itself?”  
Severus nodded, “It has also brought with it some people...”  
Voldemort put up a hand to silence him, “I don’t care about these other people, I care about the narrator.”  
The death eater-in-the back raised his hand.  
Voldemort sighed, before turning his attention to him, “Yes, what is it Renner.”  
“Who is this narrator...my lord?” Renner asked, keeping his eyes fixed at his feet.  
Voldemort smiled then, a truly evil smile, for ever time he let this smile grace his face two birds fell from the sky and died.  
“The narrator is the god of stories, my servants. Now think, if one was to get control of the god of stories...what could one do?”  
The death eaters spoke among themselves, suddenly Lucius Malfoy raised his hand.  
“Yes, Malfoy.”  
Malfoy lowered his hand, “One would use that god to gain control of the story and change it to his liking...” He trailed off, nervously. Looking up at his dark lord in fear, hoping against all hope that what he had just said was what his lord wanted to hear.  
Voldemort smiled that smile, bird fell to their deaths, “Yes Malfoy, that is why we must act fast. We must capture the narrator and forced him to change this story.” He laughed then, loud and long. “We will change this story, so that we the bad guys shall win!”  
Cheers went up at the dark lord’s announcement. Only Severus was not cheering, in fact he looked horrified for about a second before quickly putting on his stern face.  
For you see Severus Snape was a double agent, sent by Dumbledore himself to spy on Voldemort. In fact it had been Dumbledore’s idea to have Severus tell Voldemort about the narrator.  
‘What ever your up to now Albus, I hope you know what you are doing.’ Severus thought to himself, as the death eaters continued to fill the cave with cheers.

* * *

  Meanwhile, one Steve Rogers was still asleep. The rest of the avengers had refused to leave his side, despite Madam Pomfrey’s attempts to get them to leave. Dumbledore had also stayed, only leaving for a few moments to send Severus off to the dark lord and send a message to his professors to be on the look out for two gods.   
Thor and Loki were still no where to be seen, Steve was still out cold, and everyone was glaring at Tony. All in all, the hospital’s room was not a nice place to be in at the moment.  
“So Stark, going to tell us what happened now?” Clint said, finally breaking the silence that had fallen over the avengers as they watched over their fallen leader.  
Tony said nothing, his attention focused on Steve. He petted down Steve’s hair, hoping that any minute that Steve would open his beautiful blue eyes.  
Clint, naturally, did not like being ignored, so he threw a small rock at Tony’s head. Thankfully, Tony lived with Clint and thus had a second sense that told him that Clint was throwing things at him, so he ducked out of the way.  
“What the hell man?! What are you doing?!” Tony yelled, letting his frustration and anger at himself out on Clint.  
Clint narrowed his eyes, “I was trying to get your attention...”  
“By throwing a rock at my head?”  
“It was a pebble, and anyway you still haven’t explain what happened!”  
Tony turned away from Clint, “Explain what?”  
Before Clint could answer, Bruce did for him, “Tony, what happened between you and Steve?”  
There was silence, Tony didn’t move and for a minute Bruce believed that Tony wasn’t going to say anything at all but then...  
“I bite him.” Tony said, his voice full of pain. His eyes focused on Steve’s sleeping face, “I lost control and hurt Steve. That is what happened.”  
No one knew what to say, they stop glaring at him because they couldn’t be angry at Tony. Not when they could clearly hear in his voice how much he hated himself for hurting Steve.  
It was then that Dumbledore spoke up, “From what the narrator has told me about your adventures in the twilight world. Steve Rogers gave you permission to drink from him...”  
Tony snapped around, “Yeah he did but he is a self sacrificing idiot and I should have told him no.”  
“A self sacrificing idiot huh?” said a very familiar voice.  
“AGENT COULSON?!” Fury grasped out, standing up to turn and look at the doorway. Sure enough standing there, calm as always, was one Phil Coulson.  
He wasn’t alone, because at his sides were Thor and Loki.  
“Thor! Loki! Where in the world have you guys been?” Clint asked, and then turned his attention to Phil, “And when did you get here?”  
“A day ago.” He answered, before nodding a hello Dumbledore’s way. Who, was quite shocked by Phil Coulson’s suddenly appearance.  
“I think a better question would be is HOW did you get here?” Natasha asked.  
Phil just raised a eyebrow, “I walked though the portal.”  
“YOU MEAN I FORGOT TO CLOSE THAT THING!” The narrator cried out. Sending everyone but Natasha, Phil, and Dumbledore, flying from their seats(or in case of Fury falling on his butt).  
Phil looked up at the ceiling, “Yes. You did. And thanks to that portal, New York has been under attack by fictional characters.”  
“Oops.” The narrator laughed then, “Can I asked which ones?”  
“A hour after you took the avengers...New York was attacked by hobbits.”  
“Oh my god really?! I can’t believe I missed that.”  
“No worries, someone filmed it and put it on youtube.”  
The narrator laughed again, “Awesome.”  
Phil turned his attention back to the avengers(plus Fury, the Harry Potter characters and Chekhov), “So what in the world has happened to Cap?” He asked them, anger clear in his voice.  
Chekhov looked up at him then(he had been busy this own scene staring at Steve’s beautiful face), was it just him but did this Phil Coulson sound a little too angry?  
“In the last world we were in...” Peter started, and stopped, sending a worried look Tony’s way.  
“ We were turned into vampires and I bite Steve.” Tony finished for him, looking at Phil in wait for the man to beat him black and blue.  
Phil turned a deep colour red, but did not say anything.  
Chekhov suddenly realized that he had more contest for Steve’s heart. He may have once been a tree but Chekhov was really good at reading atmosphere. This man was also in love with Steve.  
Dumbledore saw this as well, and couldn’t help by smile. ‘You must be a amazing man Steve Rogers...to have so many people that love you.’  
Phil finally turned back to his normal colour, and took a couple calming breaths. “Tony, its not your fault.”  
Now that was unexpected.  
Phil continued, noticing the look of shock on Tony’s face, “Yes, I am angry but I know Cap, if you were hurting in any way...he would do anything to help. Even if it meant putting himself in danger.” A look of sadness passed over his face, so quick that only Dumbledore caught it, “Cap cares about you Tony. So yes, I’m angry that Steve is hurt but I’m not angry at you. I’m angry at the being that turned you into a vampire and put Cap in a position where he needed to help you.”  
He glared up at the ceiling, ‘I don’t know if you can read thoughts or not, but mark my words narrator...I will find a way to hurt you for this.’  
Tony could only stare at him opened mouthed, Phil was always surprising him but what he had just said took the cake and the pie.  
He knew that Phil was in love with Steve too, so he had expected Phil to beat him till he was numb for even touching Steve.  
“Phil...I...” Tony started, but stopped, what was he suppose to say? Thank you for not blaming me even though it was all my fault?  
He didn’t have time to think of something to say, cause at that moment one Severus Snape walked though the door carrying the shorting hat.  
“Ah, there you are Severus!” Dumbledore said cheerfully, walking up to Severus and running a hand down Severus’ arms.  
“You wanted the shorting hat sir?” Severus asked, ignoring Dumbledore’s hand.  
“Yes...yes, I’m glad my message got to you. Just set it over here...”  
Severus nodded, kneeling down to place the shorting on the chair that had appeared out of no where.  
He was then suddenly attacked by Loki.  
“OH MY GOD YOUR SEVERUS SNAPE. I AM YOUR GREATEST FAN.” Loki cried, hugging Severus with all his strength.  
“Brother! Control yourself! The poor man is turning blue!” Thor cried, pulling Loki off Severus(who had been turning a nice shade of blue), and pulled Loki into his arms. Upon returning to Thor’s arms, Loki smiled and started to kiss up Thor’s neck.  
“Sorry brother, I just could not help myself. Severus Snape is my second favourite fictional character, don’t you worry though...” He smirked, biting down on Thor’s neck, “Your still my number one.”  
“Okay stop with the breaking of the four wall jokes, I don’t think the poor thing can take any more punches.” Peter said.  
Natasha nodded in agreement, before turning to address Dumbledore(who had pulled Severus into his arms and was glaring at Loki), “So why do you ask for the shorting hat to be brought here?”  
Dumbledore smiled at her, “Well if your going to be staying in this world for awhile...you may as well be shorted into houses.”  
“How can we be shorted into houses... went we are not wizards.?” Steve asked, stretching out his arms.  
“Well yes you are, you see the narrator has blessed all you with magic powers and...”Dumbledore froze. As did everyone else, at the suddenly realization at who had just spoken.  
“OH MY GOD STEVE. YOUR AWAKE!” Chekhov cried out in joy, throwing his arms around Steve.  
Tony soon joined him, as did the others. Until Steve was completely covered by people(even fury had gotten in on the hug).  
“Umm hi guys, how long have I’ve been out...AND OH MY GOD IS THAT HARRY POTTER?!”  
Sure enough, standing in the doorway, his hands in his pockets stood one Harry Potter.  
“Hi. So who are you guys?”

End of Chapter 15~

 


	16. In which Steve gets another admirer, and the dark lord plots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is finally awake, and what does he see when he opens his eyes? The one and only Harry Potter! The Avengers are in the Harry Potter universe, and are being allowed to sorted into Hogwarts houses; even though they aren't wizards. What houses will each Avenger be sorted in?  
> Meanwhile, Lord Voldemort plots to destroy them all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes you're not imagining it. This fanfic has finally been updated! So what have I been up to? Well I’ve been focussed on getting though my school work and looking for work. No one told me that adult life was going to be so hard. So yeah, life been busy as hell. Other than that I’ve been suffering from major writer’s block. I feel no urge to write for ages. Thankfully my urge has returned. So I hope you enjoy this chapter! Hope you guys enjoy it again.  
> Also starting this chapter, this fanfic has a beta! Assistedrealityinterface. Be sure to go send her some love.  
> Also, only one character gets sorted in this chapter, because I haven't decided where everyone will go. So if guys have any preferences, let me know! If not, I’ll just put the other characters though a sorting quiz.
> 
> Warnings: The Fourth wall no longer exist. Many lame jokes, and references are had. Thor and Loki make out, and Severus Snape is god’s gift to men. This is a crack fanfiction, and as shocking as this sounds...things are going get weirded started soon. Hold on to your minds readers, starting next chapter, things are going to get crazier.

 Deep in the mountain caves, the dark lord sat plotting. He was alone at the moment, for he had sent his followers away. Lord Voldemort didn't usually think though his plans; he usually just tortured people or killed people to get what he wanted. He wasn't a mastermind like Lex Luthor. Usually Lord Voldemort was fine with this; to him killing someone seem like the more simple thing to do. Why waste brain power on thinking on a plan that may not work out? Hell wasn't, that alien in the red underwear still flying around? This master plan thing sure wasn't working for Lex.

Turning his mind off his fellow villain, Lord Voldemort turned his mind back to the problem at hand. For the first time in his life he was thinking of creating a master plan. He was going after the most powerful force in the literary world. He couldn't just go in wand a swingin'; well, he could but how would his magic work on a thing that didn't have a physical form? Lord Voldemort sat and thought.

'This coming up with a plan thing is hard...' He thought to himself, a displeased frown crawled across his face. 'Lex makes it look so easy.' He stopped then, and pulled his wand from his robes. 'Maybe I should call him...he does owe me a favour...". He rolled his wand in his hand, 'No, I can do this. I can think of a plan!'. He smiled then, "Yes, I will make a wonderful plan, a plan so masterful that when I tell it at the next villain meeting...Lex will go green with jealousy." Lord Voldemort nodded his head, "Anyways there is enough characters running around in this fic anyway, really shouldn't bring anyone else in." With that obvious fourth wall joke out of the way, Lord Voldemort went back to thinking.

It was this scene that the death eater-in-the-front-row walked into. The moment the, unnamed death eater wondered if he had walked into some kind of twilight zone. He had never seen his master thinking before!

Lord Voldemort, naturally, noticed that he was no longer alone in his cave. His thoughts had been invaded by this catchy but annoying song, that the death eater-in-the-front-row always had stuck in his head. Annoyed that his plotting had been interrupted, he stood up and pointed his wand at the death eater-in-the-front-row.

"What is it?! Can't you see that I am plotting?!"

"I'm so sorry my dark lord!" The death eater-in-the-front-row cried, dropping to his knees, "Please forgive me!"

Rolling his eyes, Lord Voldemort return his wand to his inside pocket of his robes, "Oh get up, you're embarrassing yourself. What is it that you want? And no I will not belly dance for you!"

The death eater-in-the-front-row quickly stood, his face a bright red. "I have a message for you my lord!"

Lord Voldemort waved his left hand, " Yes, do go on. I do have plotting to do you know".

The death eater-in-the-front-row took a big breathe, rushing out the message, "The narrator is at Hogwarts, and is planning to have the Avengers sorted."

Lord Voldemort stared, "Who told you this?"

"Snape, sir."

Upon hearing that name, Lord Voldemort face lit up in a large smile. Several young birds fell to their deaths.

"Oh Severus told you, how did my beloved send this message to you, oh death eater in-the-front-row?"

Seeing as he wasn't standing in any line, or sitting in a large group of people...the death eater in-the-front-row was a bit upset to be addressed as such. But he was not foolish enough to correct his master. He had been present the last time someone had corrected his lord. He was still taking wizard therapy.

"Well sir, he send a owl. It was quite displeased to deal with. It kept trying to peck out my eyes..." He stopped, quickly noticing that his dark lord was no longer listening to him.

Lord Voldemort, was in a state of lovesickness. He sighed, "Oh Severus, you genius. How do you do it? Sending a owl without Dumbledore's knowledge? And a owl...how adorable, my dark prince."

Lord Voldemort did something then that look much like a fangirl swooning.

The death eater in-the-front-row mentally noted to make another date with his therapist.

It also became clear to him that he was no longer needed so he bowed to his dark lord and quickly ran off. Leaving Lord Voldemort to swoon over Severus Snape, forgetting to return to his plotting.

* * *

Meanwhile, far away in Hogwarts, Severus Snape suddenly shivered. He suddenly felt like a cold dead eye was looking him up and down. He shook off the feeling, instead turning his attention to the events going on in the hospital room.

Steve, now very much awake, stared in awe at Harry Potter. He gaze seemed to be full of stars, as he eyed Harry up and down. Harry, himself, took the stare with glace. In fact he seemed to be enjoying Steve's staring.

Tony noticed this, and glared at the young teen, "Well if it isn't the angst filled protagonist. What are you doing here?!"

Harry, who had been enjoying the stare of a lovely looking man, turned to glare at the other man in the room.

"I believe I asked that question first goatee man, who are you people, and what are you doing at Hogwarts?"

Dumbledore stepped out from his position behind Severus (a position he had been using to stare lovingly at Severus' ass), to answer Harry's question.

"Harry, these people are called the Avengers,...and friends..." He waved his arm out, to include everyone in his statement. When he said friends, his arm stopped at Thor and Loki...who once again were making out like it was going out of style.

"Friends huh," Harry said, staring at Thor and Loki in strange fascination.

Dumbledore coughed, "Yes." He then pointed to each avenger, including them one by one to Harry.

Steve was not the only one fanboying. Even Clint was staring at Harry, "Dude. You're Harry Potter."

Harry laughed, "Yes I am. Well I was the last time I checked."

Severus snorted in the background, "Now that we all been introduced, should we get to the sorting?"

Dumbledore nodded, "Yes, good point Severus. I believe our friends have been waiting long enough."

"WE ARE GOING TO GET SORTED?!" Steve cried out, his voice full of fanboy glee. Up to this point, he has been bust staring at Harry, like he was a beautiful piece of art.

For you see, back in the Avenger's world, Tony had made it his goal to introduce Steve to the world of pop culture. To say Steve was a large Harry Potter fan would be putting it mildly. He was such a big fan that he owned his own wand, had sorted himself on pottermore and had read each book of the series eight times. So to find himself in the world of Harry Potter was a dream come true.

"Why yes; would you like to go first my friend?" Dumbledore said with a grin, enjoying the waves of pure happiness coming off Steve in waves.

He wasn't the only one. Tony, Phil, Chekhov, and Harry all sighed, looking at Steve lovingly. Tony, of course, noticed that he was not the only one drinking in how beautiful Steve was at this moment. How Steve smile lit up his face, and how his eyes seemed even bluer. Or how in his excitement to get to the sorting hat, he had tried to get up...making his shirt roll up, thus showing off a bit of his stomach.

Tony, stared at him. Drinking it all in. To think that because of his stupid actions in the twilight world, that he could have lost Steve. That he would have never seen his smile again.

The realization hit then. He had no right to look; he had harmed Steve. He had no right to even be standing next to him.

Tony took a step away from the hospital bed, his face emotionless, 'I don't deserve to even be in his presence.'

Before he could walk away, Steve noticed Tony moving away out of the corner of his eye, and motioned to Natasha with his head to step in Tony's way.

"Natasha, please move." Tony groaned, knowing even as those words passed his lips that their was no way that Natasha would do as he asked.

He was right of course, as Natasha just smirked at him, before taking his arm and forcing him to turn back around.

Steve was staring at him now, a frown on his face. His bottom lip pointing out, giving three men in the room the sudden urge to step forward and bite it.

"Tony, are you blaming yourself again?"

Tony, who had been staring at Steve's lip like they were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, did a double take. 'How the hell does he do that? How can he read my mind so easily?'

"Maybe because you just said that out loud." Steve said. He then let out a sigh, like he was tired of Tony always beating himself up. Which he was.

"Tony, I told you to drink from me. I made that choice. You are not at fault. Do you understand, I am not blaming you. AND NO ONE ELSE DOES EITHER...RIGHT?!" He finished threateningly, shooting glares at the other avengers.

"Of course not! No blaming Tony happening here!" Clint cried, his arms shooting up in the air, like Steve had suddenly pulled a gun out on him.

"Good. Cause it isn't his fault. Now then, can you bring the sorting hat here." He said with a smile, turning to meet Severus' eye. As the sorting hat was still sitting in his arms.

Severus, surprised by the earlier rage, quickly shook himself and walked forward. He pushed the Avenger aside, making his way to Steve's bedside.

"Here you go." With that said, Severus let the hat fall from his arms and onto Steve's head. With his purpose in this chapter done, Severus walked out of the room. Ignoring the looks that Dumbledore and Harry sent his backside.

'Why oh why have I been attracting so much attention lately?' He moaned to himself, as he walked off cruising fanfic writers and Alan Rickman for his new sexual attraction to other people.

The sorting hat, who had been waiting for a very long time, like it almost feel like months, opened its mouth.

"So can I sort now? I do have more things to do today you know. A hat's life is a very busy affair."

Dumbledore laughed, "Yes, please go ahead Sorting hat."

With that the sorting hat turned his attention to the mind of one Steve Rogers.

He was quickly overwhelmed, never had he read a mind like this one. It was a pure good mind. There was no sense of evil at all in this mind. Steve Rogers was a person that lived to help others, who was kind and compassionate. Who loved with all his heart, and stood up for what he believed in.

If the sorting hat could feel complex emotions, he too would have fallen in love with Steve, instead he just let out a whistle.

"Oh my, what a mind you got here Rogers."

Steve smiled, "Thank you Mr. Hat."

The shorting hat grinned, 'Well I know the house I'm putting you in." With that the sorting hat let out a roar, "HUFFLEPUFF!"

There were some clapping, but most of the avengers look amazed by this announcement.

Clint let his displeasure out, "Hufflepuff?! HUFFLEPUFF?! You mean the house that are good finders?"

There was then a roar of pure rage, and Clint suddenly found himself face to face with a very a angry Harry Potter.

"Hufflepuff is a great house, it is a house full of kind and brave people. They are the house that will always be your side, and will do what is right. Even is they die...".

It became quite clear then, that Harry wasn't talking about a house.

Clint, who suddenly felt like a dick, put a hand on Harry's shoulders. "Sorry. I know Hufflepuff isn't bad. I was just a little shocked is all, I thought Steve would be a Gryffindor."

Steve, who had taken off the sorting hat at this point, finally spoke up. "Why would you think that? I am always a Hufflepuff."

The group turned to him, Steve was basically beaming, "I am so happy, I was worry that maybe pottermore was wrong. But I am. I'm a Hufflepuff."

The smile that then appeared on his face, was the most beautiful smile that many in that room had ever seen.

Harry stared at that smile, and remember another. A smile that had been giving to him a couple years ago. A smile given to him in a corridor.

While earlier Harry had been attracted to Steve, it was then that he fell in love. Steve was so much...like HIM. That Harry could not help but fall in love.

Tony, who had been standing right next to Clint, and thus had gotten full force of angry Potter, noticed this.

'Oh god no. Not another one. Why must everyone fall in love with you Steve!?' Tony groaned, at the realization that he had another person to worry about.

He looked then at Steve, who noticing Tony's stares, smiled up at him. Tony heart grew two sizes, 'But that okay. Cause I will fight for your heart Steve. No matter how many people fall for you. I will fight for you, cause you are worth it.'

The Narrator, who could read thoughts, gave out a fangirl sigh.

He was ignored by everyone, as Steve had passed the hat on to Tony. Who was now setting it upon his head.

"Now then.." The sorting hat said, "Where shall I put you?"


End file.
